[INTRO — SPOKEN MALE | DRY / DOCUMENTARY VOICE] After the Butlerian Jihad, thinking machines were forbidden. So humanity invented Mentats. Human computers. Trained from childhood to process enormous quantities of information. Predict the future. Calculate probabilities. Advise the most powerful families in the Imperium. [PAUSE] Unfortunately... They are absolutely SHIT at choosing employers. --- [VERSE 1 — DRY / DEADPAN] Stained red lips Like a kabuki doll What's that stuff You keep pouring In your hole? [DEEP VOCODER — RHYTHMIC / MECHANICAL] SAPHO-SAPHO-SAPHO, SAPHO-SAPHO-SAPHO SAPHO-SAPHO-SAPHO, SAPHO-SAPHO-SAPHO SAPHO-SAPHO-SAPHO, SAPHO-SAPHO-SAPHO SAPHO-SAPHO-SAPHO, SAPHO-SAPHO-SAPHO --- [VERSE 2 — CAREER OPPORTUNITIES] Ten million futures Running through your head Calculate the odds Of ending up dead (dead, dead, dead) Piter took the poison Thufir changed his boss All those clever calculations Never counted up the loss Working for the Baron? That's a brilliant career move Just don't let him Get too close When he's in a funny mood [HBC 1 — MACHINE CHANT / HARD SYNCOPATION] MEN-MEN-MENTAT CAL-CAL-CULATE BAD-BAD-BAD CAREER MISTAKE! THINK-THINK-THINK THINK AGAIN! BIG-BIG-BRAIN NO COMMON SENSE! --- [VERSE 3 — Female, SUNG BEAUTIFULLY] Welcome to the Harkonnens We're a family-oriented firm Excellent remuneration If you live beyond your term Complimentary heart plug Executive dining room Private medical insurance And an early visit to your tomb Performance-based incentives [HARD STOP] You get to live a few more days [RESUME] Flexible working hours Please ignore the screaming Coming from the observation tower [HBC 2 — FEMALE ROBOTIC VOICE + MALE] HEART-HEART-HEART PLUG PULL-PULL-PULL! BIG-BIG-BRAIN LITTLE-LITTLE FOOL! PRO-PRO-PROBABILITY NINETY-NINE PERCENT [MALE — DRY SPOKEN] Of what? [FEMALE — FLAT] Unemployment. [MALE] Permanent? [FEMALE] Extremely. --- [VERSE 4 — THE FINAL CALCULATION] Can predict a sandworm From a thousand miles away Knows the price of spice On any given day Calculate an empire Plot a royal coup But can't predict the morning When the Baron comes for you Should've been an accountant Should've opened up a shop Should've checked the contract Before you took the job [HBC 3 — FULL ARRANGEMENT / VOCODER + CROWD CHANT] MEN-MEN-MENTAT CAL-CAL-CULATE! BAD-BAD-BAD CAREER MISTAKE! SAPHO-SAPHO RED-RED-RED! THINKING-THINKING EVERYBODY'S DEAD! MEN-MEN-MENTAT CAL-CAL-CULATE! HEART-HEART-HEART PLUG TERMINATE! --- [OUTRO — SPOKEN / MUSIC DROPS TO BASS PULSE] [BARON — DEEP / OILY VOICE] Mentat. What is the probability of your continued employment? [MENTAT — PRECISE / COMPUTER-LIKE] My Lord, having considered approximately seventeen million variables... [PAUSE] I believe I have made a serious career mistake. [BARON] Excellent. [SMALL MECHANICAL CLICK] [MENTAT] Oh, shi— [HARD CUT TO SILENCE]
