[fade in] [intro, instrumental, sleigh bell rhythm] [Verse 1 — sneaky bass, plucked strings] Snowflakes fall like storybook scenes, A fully decorated evergreen, The lights are hung in twinkling hues… Everything points to you know who. [Pre-Chorus — dark humor buildup] I used to stare at the sky in awe, Listening close for sleigh bells' call. But there’s one tiny truth I never saw— Till I read the writing on the wall. [Chorus — punchline drop, big comedic drums] OHhhh!— Santa isn’t real, he’s a holiday decoy. Your parents are the ones buying every single toy. All the tales they fed you were a sugar-coated lie— Yeah, Santa is a Christmas lie. Santa is a Christmas lie. [Verse 2 — playful mischief energy] Mom whispering, “Quick, go to bed!” Dad tripping on boxes in the shed. Milk and cookies suddenly gone… But Dad’s mustache had the crumbs at dawn. [Pre-Chorus — sarcastic swell] Every reindeer hoofprint in the snow, Every jolly laugh they made so slow… I thought it meant a legend was a factor— Turns out it meant Dad is just an actor. [Chorus — comedic blast] OHhhh!— Santa isn’t real, he’s a holiday decoy. Your parents are the ones buying every single toy. All the tales they fed you were a sugar-coated lie— Yeah, Santa is a Christmas lie. Santa is a Christmas lie. [Bridge — dramatic mock-tragedy] Elves? Nope. North Pole? Nope. Flying sleigh? Hard nope. But hey— At least they tried… Don’t be mad they lied.. [Final Chorus — bigger, funnier, triumphant cynicism] OHhhh!— Santa isn’t real, he’s a holiday decoy. Your parents are the ones buying every single toy. Once you learn the truth, kid, you can't deny— Santa is a Christmas lie. Santa is a Christmas lie.
