[Intro] I been carrying thunder in a paper chest, Smile stitched on like it somehow knows best. Everybody says heal, everybody says wait, Like grief keeps a schedule, like pain shows up late. But mine kicked the door in, tracked mud through the hall, Hung my old dreams up just to watch them all fall. Now I talk to the ceiling like it owes me a sign, And the silence talks back like, “You’re wasting your time.” [Verse 1] I grew up thinking love was a place you could stay, Not a match in the wind, not a name that decays. Not a jacket left cold on the back of a chair, Not a ghost in the room when there’s nobody there. And I tried being honest, got blood on the floor, Tried being distant, just became something more Like a shadow with a heartbeat, a bruise with a grin, A cathedral of noise with no god left within. I know what it costs to keep acting okay, To wear “I’m getting better” like a cheap masquerade. To laugh at the wound so it looks less obscene, To turn every scream into something unseen. But I am so tired of being profound, Of making my ruin sound sacred somehow. Some days I just want to say I’m not fine, Without being told there’s a lesson inside. [Pre-Chorus] So let it crack, let it cave, let it come undone, I am done being polished for everyone. If I break in the open, at least it is real, At least it’s a wound and not a costume to heal. [Chorus] I don’t want your silver lining, I want the sky to tell the truth. I want the hurt, the holy shaking, The fire that burns me back to proof. If I’m ash-gray, let me be it, If I’m shattered, let me ring. I have died a hundred quiet deaths, Tonight I’m learning how to scream. [Verse 2] There’s a photograph face-down under my bed, I know every last word we should’ve said. They still live in the plaster, the cracks in the paint, The unfinished prayers of a would-be saint. And I hate how memory sweetens the knife, Makes a wreck look tender in the rearview light. Makes me miss what hurt me, makes me bless what bled, Makes me build whole kingdoms for the things that left. I was loyal to the damage, faithful to the ache, Like if I held it close enough it would learn my name. Like misery was noble, like drowning was deep, Like suffering prettier if nobody sees. But pain ain’t wisdom just because it stays, And sorrow ain’t a crown, it’s just weight. So I’m putting down the pieces I can’t revive, Not because they meant nothing Because I survived. [Pre-Chorus] Hear my pulse drag sparks through the dark again, Hear my voice come back through the static skin. I was built from the wreckage I never confessed, Now the truth wants out of my ribcage next. [Chorus] I don’t want your silver lining, I want the sky to tell the truth. I want the hurt, the holy shaking, The fire that burns me back to proof. If I’m ash-gray, let me be it, If I’m shattered, let me ring. I have died a hundred quiet deaths, Tonight I’m learning how to scream. [Bridge] Let the walls shake. Let the past break. Let the old me finally lose his grip. Let the mask split. Let the flood hit. Let me feel the whole weight of it. I was never weak for bleeding out, Never wrong for needing more. Never ruined past repair, Just a heart at civil war. And if hope comes looking ragged, With its knuckles bruised and thin, I’ll still open up the door Let the bastard in. [Final Chorus] I don’t want your silver lining, I want the storm without the lie. I want the tears that taste like mercy, The kind you earn, not glorify. If I’m ash-gray, I’ll wear it honest, If I’m broken, I will sing. Because the ones who crawl back from the dark Know exactly what hope means. [Outro] So here I am, no halo, no grace, Just a pulse and a name and a weathered face. And the night’s still cruel, and the hurt still stings, But the dead part of me finally moved its wings. Not clean, not whole, not fixed, not free, Just alive enough to finally be me.
