You’re sitting on the couch with your phone in your hand Ready to explain how things work in this land You look at me with that serious stare in your eyes Ready to drop another fact you think is a prize "Did you know in twenty-fifteen," you say with a straight face "More people died taking selfies than shark attacks took place?" Way more than by the jaws of a shark in the sea! I just nod along, sighing quietly You keep on talking, there is no stopping you tonight You brought a whole arsenal of trivia to the fight "The swimming pool on the Titanic," you shout with glee "Is still filled with water, after a century!" And when I’m typing an email on my laptop screen You come rushing in with the weirdest routine "Type 'top priority', babe, did you know this trick? You only need the top row of your keyboard, it's quick!" Oh, you know everything about the world, you’re so incredibly smart! Your head is full of data, a walking encyclopedia chart! But how to kiss me, how to please me right No, that’s not in your books, you don't get it quite You’re a star at trivia, a genius on display But the manual of a woman, you just can't track today! I want a big hug, but you immediately start: "Right now, forty-five million people are drunk at the bar!" I want a romantic kiss, soft and sublime But you say: "There are more bacteria in your mouth than humans of all time!" I brush my teeth and think about a romantic date You yell from the hallway before it’s too late "Watch out with that toothpaste, the chemicals inside Could kill thirteen dogs, don't let it slide!" I grab a pen to write a to-do list for the week And there you go again, before I can even speak "Be careful with that ballpoint, don't put it in your mouth, ok? A hundred people choke on those every year, so put it away!" You’re a master in useless science and lore But when it comes to romance, you’re a total bore! Oh, you know everything about the world, you’re so incredibly smart! Your head is full of data, a walking encyclopedia chart! But how to kiss me, how to please me right No, that’s not in your books, you don't get it quite You’re a star at trivia, a genius on display But the manual of a woman, you just can't track today! Google has the answer to everything you ask But there is one algorithm that fails at its task How do you actually make a woman happy and glad? That’s not on Wikipedia, it's a skill you never had Put that phone away, forget the statistics for a while Just give me your love, and make me smile So baby, just shut your mouth for a bit No more facts about the danger of it Like sharks, ballpoints, or the Titanic out at sea Just show me that you love me... and let the numbers be Hey... you want to hear a fact? Put your phone down right now and come to the bedroom. If you don't, I’m going to Angie’s place for a few days. Sure, she might not know that more people worldwide die from a falling coconut than from attacks by sharks or wolves... but she knows *exactly* what makes me happy... That is a fact...!!!
