[Verse] Now if I were to be a doctor I wouldn't say "Hi How do you do?" I would say "Here is the state of your body and How long it will be 'til it falls through" [Chorus] And if I were to be a trumpet player I would be as good as Mr. Skiffington And if I were to be a trumpet player I would be as good as Mr. Skiffington [Verse] And if I were to be a man And all the things that people seem to want Like houses and clothes and a wonderful wife Wouldn't fill me up Just leave me on the run [Chorus] And if I were to be a trumpet player I would be as good as Mr. Skiffington And if I were to be a trumpet player I would be as good as Mr. Skiffington [Bridge] And if I were to be a fish I'd probably have a bit of fishy bliss And if I were to be a plant I'd take what I need and give a little back And if I were to be a dog I'd say "I am a dog and I know where I belong" But I am a man and I know what I know And I'll always end up like that 'til I let it go [Chorus] And if I were to be a trumpet player I would be as good as Mr. Skiffington And if I were to be a trumpet player I would be as good as Mr. Skiffington And if I were to be a trumpet player I would be as good as Mr. Skiffington And if I were to be a trumpet player I would be as good as Mr. Skiffington
