Intro (Cheap karaoke machine starts. Feedback squeals.) "Who's next?" "I think everyone is." --- Verse 1 The karaoke machine Had seen better decades. The microphone smelled Like bad decisions. Dave chose a ballad From 1997. Nobody knew why. Nobody stopped him. He sang every word Like he wrote it himself. The original artist Would probably sue. --- Pre-Chorus Someone brought champagne. Someone brought tequila. Someone brought a tiny umbrella. Nobody brought A good idea. --- Chorus Cocaine karaoke. Everybody thinks they're famous. Cocaine karaoke. Nobody remembers the chorus. The lights are too bright. The vocals are wrong. But everyone in the room Thinks they're the one. --- Verse 2 Sarah performed A power ballad. Halfway through, She forgot the lyrics. So she replaced them With compliments About the bartender. Honestly, It was an improvement. A man in a cowboy hat Started crying. Nobody knew him. Nobody asked. --- Instrumental Break (Huge dance-punk breakdown. Synth bass pulses. Guitars stutter. Crowd samples chant: "Encore! Encore!") --- Verse 3 Someone offered cocaine Behind the speakers. Someone offered MDMA Near the toilets. Someone offered me A microphone. That was the most dangerous. I started talking. Nobody could stop me. --- Bridge The DJ said, "Last song." Everyone booed. The DJ said, "Fine." Everyone cheered. Nobody understood What had changed. --- Final Chorus Cocaine karaoke. We sound better In our own heads. Cocaine karaoke. Tomorrow we'll deny Everything we said. The sun is coming up. The bar is closing down. We're all superstars... Until we leave The building. --- Outro (Karaoke machine clicks off. One distorted guitar note rings out.) "Same song next week?" ... "Definitely not." (Pause.) "Probably."
