"I’m Tabby. I’m a cleric. I wear white robes and make bad decisions." She rolled a three on medicine, then winked and struck a pose, Said, “Lay still, I got this,” as she stepped right on your toes. She tried to cast Cure Wounds, but her holy book’s on fire, She sneezed mid-incantation and her mace hit the squire. Oh-oh, divine connection’s kind of glitchy, She prayed once, got a smite—now our paladin is extra crispy. But she’s got faith (in herself), and flair (just not the skills), Her healing comes with glitter and a high chance of new ills! She’s Tabby! Totally Tabby! Cleric of chaos, kinda holy and sassy! She’ll lay on hands… then apologize fast, Your HP goes down but your vibes? A blast! Oh Tabby! Don’t trust her with potions, She once healed a rock and caused a commotion. But she’s cute and she’s loud, and she’s trying, okay?! Just don’t let her res you… it will be your last day. She showed up to the boss fight wearing heels and a bikini, Her holy symbol’s glitter glue, and her god’s like, “Why me?” She’s got scrolls in her fanny pack and none of them are right, She just cast Calm Emotions… on herself… mid-fight. Oh-oh, she once did Revivify a plant, Then tried to charge it 50 gold for “clerical enchant.” She blesses wrong targets, like the enemy mage, But she’ll write you a song and she looks great on stage! She’s Tabby! Totally Tabby! Savior of nobody’s weekend and gladly! She’ll trip on your corpse, then say “Oopsies, my bad,” And tell you that death is a passing fad. Oh Tabby! She’s divine (in her mind), But her Turn Undead only makes them mad. If you party with her, bring potions and luck ‘Cause Tabby means well, but she sucks. She’s got a heart of gold… and will never lie, Her deity sends letters that just say, “Why?” But if you’re feelin’ down, she’ll sing you a tune, While casting Sacred Flame at a soup spoon. Tabby! Totally Tabby! She’s a cleric disaster and proudly! She blesses herself, and calls it “group aid,” She once tried to mend a decapitation with a Band-Aid. Tabbyyyyy! May the gods all forgive her, She’s chaos in robes, a divine underachiever. But she’s OUR mess, our wildcard, our fave Now everyone clap… for Tabby the Brave! “Oops. Was that your HP bar?”
