[Verse 1] The first lie told myself that I'd be fine The only grown-up left inside that room Two weeks, I swore, and then the world would turn An engineer, not waiting for the tomb [Pre-Chorus] But by the first I knew the lie was done No going back, just something new and stark A new normal, and I was not prepared For what was waiting in the narrowing dark [Chorus] So I tried to build a routine to survive Not my strength, not ever in my bones But for her, for me, I had to try The quiet cracked, and I was not alone [Verse 2] I'd lived a life of loose and easy ties Detached agreements, bodies in the night Now trapped with fruit I told myself I'd resist She was too young to even want this fight [Pre-Chorus] I found escape in voices on the wire Hot and tender, video and flame But still I watched the half-open sauna door And whispered another woman's name [Chorus] So I tried to build a routine to survive Not my strength, not ever in my bones But for her, for me, I had to try The quiet cracked, and I was not alone [Bridge] I called it rebellion, not seduction then Her little games to test the man inside But the truth was worse—I wished she'd make the first So I could fall and never have to hide [Verse 3] I feared if she came serious, I'd break The responsible one would disappear But something in the back of my head sang low You want this. You have wanted it all year [Pre-Chorus] Despite each cold and careful word I spun Despite my best judgment, clear and high I really wanted it to happen then [Chorus] I tried to build a routine to survive Not my strength, not ever in my bones But for her, for me, I had to try The quiet cracked, and I was not alone [Outro] And it happened And it happened The routine failed And it happened
