It’s Fine - Eli Rowan | Soul Song About Emotional Healing

[Verse 1] I got good at keeping quiet Good at making things look small Good at saying, “Don’t worry” When it bothered me at all Good at smiling through the silence Good at changing the subject line You could ask me how I’m doing I’d say— “I’m fine.” [Pre-Chorus] Funny how two little words Can hold so much behind [Chorus] I’m fine That’s what I told everybody I’m fine That’s what I told myself I’m fine While the hurt sat in the hallway Like a box I never opened On a shelf I’m fine Till I forgot what fine meant Till the lie felt almost true I got so good at saying “I’m fine” I stopped knowing when I wasn’t [Verse 2] There were nights I couldn’t sleep But I called it being tired There were things that made me angry But I said I was inspired There were people I forgave Before I ever named the pain There were storms inside the house And I kept calling it rain And every time somebody asked I gave the same old line “I’m fine.” [Chorus] I’m fine That’s what I told everybody I’m fine That’s what I told myself I’m fine While the hurt sat in the hallway Like a box I never opened On a shelf I’m fine Till I forgot what fine meant Till the lie felt almost true I got so good at saying “I’m fine” I stopped knowing when I wasn’t [Verse 3] Maybe I thought being grateful Meant I couldn’t say it hurt Maybe I thought being faithful Meant I had to make it work Maybe I thought anger made me bitter Maybe sadness meant I’d lost So I kept trimming every feeling Till I couldn’t see the cost And all that peace I thought I kept Was mostly silence dressed up nice [Bridge — stripped down] Maybe fine ain’t always fine Maybe brave ain’t always strong Maybe sometimes healing starts When you finally admit something’s wrong Maybe anger has a reason Maybe grief deserves a chair Maybe telling the truth isn’t weakness Maybe truth is how you get there [Pause] So ask me again How am I doing? This time— I’ll tell you. [Final Chorus — fuller, warm gospel lift] I’m not fine And that don’t mean I’m broken I’m not fine It just means something’s real I’m not fine And maybe saying that out loud Is the first honest thing That lets the wound begin to heal I’m not fine But I’m finally paying attention Finally listening this time I spent years saying “I’m fine” Now I’m learning how to tell the truth [Outro — quiet piano] I’m not fine. But I think I’m getting there.