I think I finally understand What I've been struggling to see— How something we gave out of love Could be interpreted differently. We saw a chance to help you build A dream you'd long pursued, But maybe what we saw as helping Felt like something binding you. We never gave to take control, No desire to have our way. But with our money financing the building, Yes, we needed to have a say. Maybe what you experienced with Lee Had taught you what control could cost, And anything that looked familiar Felt like freedom being lost. I can't know what you were thinking; I can only understand Why something we believed was helping Might have felt like an unwanted hand. Maybe you thought you ended it By choosing to walk away. Just like we thought we ended it When we decided not to pay. Two boundaries put in place At basically the same time, Each saying, “This isn't working,” And drawing their own line. If that was your price of freedom, I can understand. I finally see. Maybe you gave up the building, Equipment, our money for autonomy You lost time, work and dreaming, We lost all that, and lots of money too. We were always prepared to lose the money— But we never expected to lose you. Yes, I asked for a thirty second video— I can see that differently now too. Maybe having something I wanted Felt like an unjust claim on you. I spent hours looking at your work for Family, friends, clients, people everywhere. I thought what you made was the best; I wanted something with that care. I'd always tried to give to you The very best that we could find. And when I needed something special, Of course your work was 'best' in my mind. Was it really wrong to ask That one small thing from you? After all that we'd invested, Was that unreasonable in your view? I see now how you might see it as control, Might have viewed my asking differently— But I believed that you were the best, And mostly, I wanted to know you cared for me. A quarter million mattered to us— Not because we couldn't afford to lose it. We never risked what we couldn't afford to lose; Giving to you was ours alone to choose it. But we'd lived most of our lives Without much extra coming in, And when we finally had abundance, We chose your dream to invest it in. That never bought us control of you, We had no desire to steer. But our love should not mean gratitude Should completely disappear. There's a difference between controlling And expecting you to give sometimes too— Reciprocity is not losing control, It's simply showing we matter to you. I can understand you walking away. I can understand the perceived cost. I can honor what you may have believed Would otherwise be lost. I understand your autonomy matters to you. Our boundary matters to us too. If that was your price of freedom, I can understand it now. We both reached the same conclusion From two different angles somehow. You lost time and work and dreaming. We lost all that, and the money too. We were prepared from the start to lose the money But we didn't expect to lose you. We had the right to ask sometimes, To need things from you, too. Giving should not have ever been A one-way street—always from us to you. It wasn't about matching in dollars, Or repaying all we had done— We just needed you to give sometimes, Not leave the giving all to us. More than anything We wanted to know we mattered to you.
