The Old Battle Ax - Funk Rap Remix

Grog2069

Parody Grunge Rap, Slow Rap, Rap God, Upbeat Hip-Hop, Future Funk, Electric bass, Deep raspy male lead singer, Clear harmonies, Happy, Hilarious, Cinematic, Scratching, Beatboxing, Dog barking

V3.5

(Intro - Spoken Word with Scratched Record Effect)

Yo...  wife bounced, split the scene, left me flat broke
Busted my damn neck, guess I'm the butt of the joke
Said I'm a work-choked, lazy bloke, well, ain't that a stroke
Of bad luck? Nah, that shit's a blessing, yo! Let's smoke...

Dog: "Grrrr, Grrrr"

(Chorus - Fast-paced, Aggressive Flow)

Pissed off, livid, fumin', seein' red, I'm beyond mad!
Shoulda ditched me three decades back, the peace I could've had!
Now it's blissful, quiet, ain't that tragically rad?
Thirty years lost, a life un-marred, man, it's awfully sad!

(Verse 1 - Dense Rhymes, Internal Rhymes, Double Time)

Tranquility's the air, no more naggin' in my earlobe
She took the dough, but yo, livin' in this here cardboard globe
Is ten times better, no vendetta, livin' like a solo probe
In my hobo abode, with the dog, we on this dusty road.
Man's best friend, yeah, that beats the fuckin' battle-axe
Old hag, nag, drag, yeah, you know the fuckin' facts, relax!

(Interlude - Spoken, Sarcastic Tone)

Big shout out to "Numbnuts," the muse, the inspiration, true story,
For this lyrical contusion, this auditory category five hurricane, no allegory!

(Chorus - Fast-paced, Aggressive Flow)

(Verse 2 - Even Denser, More Complex Rhyme Schemes)

Serene atmosphere, no more whinin', it's crystal clear, see?
She drained the funds, still, livin' box-bound, it's a jubilee
Than to be with that banshee, no chance, G, we wild and free
Me and my canine refugee, just check the pedigree.

Dog: "WOOF!"

(Verse 3 - Short, Punchy, Bragging Tone)

Beats that crone, I'm sayin', that shit-storm hag, you catch my meanin'?
This freedom's gleamin', I'm beamimg, dreamin' of her bein' a demon.

(Verse 4 - Sarcastic, Bitter Tone)

Glad she's gone, a blessin', thank the heavens, she's departed, though
I'm fuming, I'm stressin' she stayed 30 years, it's a shit-show
A cruel fiasco, a slow-burn inferno, low blow, you know?

(Chorus - More Melodic)

My wife departed, took everything, left me here with less
Said I was the one she couldn't stand, puttin' her through duress
Guess it's my fault she's gone, I'm the reason for her stress
Peaceful and quiet, my heaven's a mess, silence, I confess!
No more strife and no more violence, wish she'd left, no bias
Thirty years ago, I'd be sailin' the seas, a full-fledged pirate!

(Verse 5 - Faster Pace, Building Intensity)

Wife split, I'm ecstatic, caught her and some dude, gettin' graphic
In the backseat, acrobatic, me and the dog? Wagyu patties, aromatic!
Best part, yo? This canine, he ain't no snitch, he's diplomatic!
Wife left, best day, trapped me, held me hostage, made me static,
It was so drastic, traumatic, then she snapped, made me an addict.

It's funny 'cause it ain't

Dog: "Woof, woof!"

2996/7500

(Intro - Spoken Word with Scratched Record Effect) Yo... wife bounced, split the scene, left me flat broke Busted my damn neck, guess I'm the butt of the joke Said I'm a work-choked, lazy bloke, well, ain't that a stroke Of bad luck? Nah, that shit's a blessing, yo! Let's smoke... Dog: "Grrrr, Grrrr" (Chorus - Fast-paced, Aggressive Flow) Pissed off, livid, fumin', seein' red, I'm beyond mad! Shoulda ditched me three decades back, the peace I could've had! Now it's blissful, quiet, ain't that tragically rad? Thirty years lost, a life un-marred, man, it's awfully sad! (Verse 1 - Dense Rhymes, Internal Rhymes, Double Time) Tranquility's the air, no more naggin' in my earlobe She took the dough, but yo, livin' in this here cardboard globe Is ten times better, no vendetta, livin' like a solo probe In my hobo abode, with the dog, we on this dusty road. Man's best friend, yeah, that beats the fuckin' battle-axe Old hag, nag, drag, yeah, you know the fuckin' facts, relax! (Interlude - Spoken, Sarcastic Tone) Big shout out to "Numbnuts," the muse, the inspiration, true story, For this lyrical contusion, this auditory category five hurricane, no allegory! (Chorus - Fast-paced, Aggressive Flow) Pissed off, livid, fumin', seein' red, I'm beyond mad! Shoulda ditched me three decades back, the peace I could've had! Now it's blissful, quiet, ain't that tragically rad? Thirty years lost, a life un-marred, man, it's awfully sad! (Verse 2 - Even Denser, More Complex Rhyme Schemes) Serene atmosphere, no more whinin', it's crystal clear, see? She drained the funds, still, livin' box-bound, it's a jubilee Than to be with that banshee, no chance, G, we wild and free Me and my canine refugee, just check the pedigree. Dog: "WOOF!" (Verse 3 - Short, Punchy, Bragging Tone) Beats that crone, I'm sayin', that shit-storm hag, you catch my meanin'? This freedom's gleamin', I'm beamimg, dreamin' of her bein' a demon. (Verse 4 - Sarcastic, Bitter Tone) Glad she's gone, a blessin', thank the heavens, she's departed, though I'm fuming, I'm stressin' she stayed 30 years, it's a shit-show A cruel fiasco, a slow-burn inferno, low blow, you know? (Chorus - More Melodic) My wife departed, took everything, left me here with less Said I was the one she couldn't stand, puttin' her through duress Guess it's my fault she's gone, I'm the reason for her stress Peaceful and quiet, my heaven's a mess, silence, I confess! No more strife and no more violence, wish she'd left, no bias Thirty years ago, I'd be sailin' the seas, a full-fledged pirate! (Verse 5 - Faster Pace, Building Intensity) Wife split, I'm ecstatic, caught her and some dude, gettin' graphic In the backseat, acrobatic, me and the dog? Wagyu patties, aromatic! Best part, yo? This canine, he ain't no snitch, he's diplomatic! Wife left, best day, trapped me, held me hostage, made me static, It was so drastic, traumatic, then she snapped, made me an addict. It's funny 'cause it ain't Dog: "Woof, woof!"

0/500