*Stiff One Tonight* *Verse 1:* Well I mowed the lawn and I hauled the trash Swept the porch and I washed the glass Took the dog out, fixed the sink Even put the toilet seat down, if you know what I mean I fired up the grill, put on my best shirt Figured tonight we might just flirt But she looked at me with that familiar light And said, “Sugar… I got a headache tonight.” *Chorus:* Stiff one tonight, stiff one tonight Ain't no lovin', ain't no fight Just a cold compress and the TV light Yeah she said she's got a headache and left me with the stiff one tonight. *Verse 2:* I tried the backrub, tried the wine Tried the “baby you look fine” Tried the old “I’ll take the kids” Even offered to do the dishes twice But she just smiled that sweet little smile Said “Honey, maybe in a little while…” Then she turned over and cut off the light So I poured myself a stiff one tonight *Chorus:* Stiff one tonight, stiff one tonight Ain't no lovin', ain't no fight Just me and the dog and the blue moonlight Yeah she said she's got a headache and left me with the stiff one tonight. *Bridge:* Now the ice is meltin’ in my glass Old dog’s snorin’ on the floor I’m sittin’ here wonderin’ how many times I’ve heard that same old line before But tomorrow’s another day, I suppose I’ll mow the lawn and haul the trash again Maybe next time she’ll feel better Or maybe I’ll just drink with the dog, my friend *Chorus - Last:* Stiff one tonight, stiff one tonight Ain't no lovin', ain't no fight Just me and the dog and the blue moonlight Yeah she said she's got a headache and left me with the stiff one tonight. *Outro:* Yeah… headache tonight. Pour another one, boy. Its a stiff one tonight.
