[Intro] (Rest in peace, Trev) (You was a legend, son) (Is it supposed to be this crunchy?) [Slow Boom Bap Beat with a Mournful Organ Sample] [Record Scratch] [Verse 1] We were gathered in the lounge of the King’s Head pub The mourners were hungry for the funeral grub The sandwiches were dry and the ham was a bit grey But we were there to celebrate Great Trevor’s final day The urn was on the bar, looking shiny and gold Containing the ashes of a man who never did what he was told But Gazza got confused after Seven pints of Stella He thought the grey dust was a "special" kind of fella He tipped it in the punch bowl and stirred it with a spoon While the DJ started playing a Two-Step garage tune [Chorus] We’re drinking Uncle Trevor at the funeral rave He’s gone from the casket to the liquid grave My lungs are full of family and my heart is beating fast Trevor’s finally joined the party, and he’s having a blast (He’s a smooth finish) (Proper gritty) (You knows it) [Verse 2] Suddenly the room started moving quite weird Old Auntie Brenda has grown a phantom beard I’m seeing Trevor’s ghost in the disco ball light He’s wearing a shell suit and looking for a fight The vicar’s doing "The Robot" on a pile of sausage rolls While the choir girls are digging some very deep holes Gazza’s in the toilets and he’s trying to snort the rest He says it’s the purest stuff he’s ever put to the test "I can taste his memories and his love for the darts" He whispered as he let out a series of Trevor-flavored farts [Chorus] We’re drinking Uncle Trevor at the funeral rave He’s gone from the casket to the liquid grave My lungs are full of family and my heart is beating fast Trevor’s finally joined the party, and he’s having a blast (A vintage year) (Nineteen Forty Two) (Safe as houses) [Bridge] [Beat Drop] [Heavy Distorted Bassline] The police burst in at half-past Eleven They thought we were sending Trevor straight up to heaven They saw the empty urn and the faces covered in grey And decided it was better just to walk the other way (It’s a civil matter) (Nothing to see here) [Verse 3] Now every time I sneeze, I see a bit of my kin I’ve got Trevor in my system and a bottle of gin The family tree is thriving inside my lower gut Even though my mind is feeling completely shut If you’re going to a wake in the Newport North-East Don’t drink the gray punch or you’ll turn into a beast Rest in peace, Trev, you were a proper top bloke Now you’re living in our kidneys, and that’s not a joke [Outro] (You knows it) (Gone but not forgotten) (I think I’ve got a bit of his hip bone in my teeth) [Beat Fades Out with a Coughing Sound] [Final Organ Chord]
