[INTRO – lonely detuned piano, cold church-organ drone, vinyl crackle, distant low pulse] They think I changed… I did. But change don’t mean disappear. Some things you don’t get rid of. You learn how to control ’em. [808 DROPS] [HOOK] That old me… still in there, I don’t let him out, but I’m well aware, Same cold stare when I feel that air, I’ve just gotten better at keepin’ him there. Still in there… still in there, Years went by but he ain’t went nowhere, I became a man, had a family to care for, But push that door… He’s still in there. [VERSE 1] I remember being young with a chip on my shoulder, Thought being a man meant your heart getting colder, Every year that passed put more weight on the boulder, Now I carry it different ‘cause I’m older and sober. Had to learn every battle ain’t worth that fight, Every disrespect don’t deserve your whole night, Sometimes walking away takes more strength than a strike, That’s a lesson young me would’ve hated on sight. See, I ain’t become soft, I became more precise, Started thinking ‘bout tomorrow before rolling the dice, When you got people depending on you for their life, You quit gambling everything just to prove that you’re right. But every once in a while something wakes that flame, I can feel that old electricity rip through my veins, Jaw gets tight, heart starts pounding, everything changes… Take one breath. Look at what’s at stake. And put him back in his cage. [HOOK] That old me… still in there, I don’t let him out, but I’m well aware, Same cold stare when I feel that air, I’ve just gotten better at keepin’ him there. Still in there… still in there, Years went by but he ain’t went nowhere, I became a man, had a family to care for, But push that door… He’s still in there. [VERSE 2] Westside taught me keep your head on a swivel, Country taught me work while the world’s still little, Life taught me anger ain’t strength, it’s a signal, Real power’s having fire and controlling the middle. I’ve buried friends, watched relationships fold, Seen promises disappear when the pressure got cold, Had nights with empty pockets and responsibilities full, Still woke up next morning and carried the load. That’s what changed me. Not age on a page, It was consequences teaching what couldn’t be explained, It was little eyes watching how I handled the pain, Made me realize somebody had to break that chain. So I did. Not perfectly, hell, I still get it wrong, Still got stubborn in my blood, still come on too strong, But the man standing here ain’t that kid from before… He’s the reason I’m stronger. But I’m steering him now. [BREAKDOWN – piano nearly gone, low church organ, whispered doubles] People think maturity means you killed the old you. Nah. You don’t kill him. You teach him. You discipline him. You make him useful. [Silence] [808 SLAMS BACK IN] [VERSE 3] Still got that fuck-around-find-out in my bones, Difference is now I know when to leave shit alone, I don’t need every stranger knowing what I know, And I damn sure don’t need validation from phones. I got calluses, scars, memories that remain, Some came from mistakes, some came straight from the pain, Some taught me forgiveness, some taught me names Can turn into strangers and never be the same. I know darkness. That’s why I choose light. Know what losing control costs, that’s why I think twice. Don’t confuse self-control with me losing my bite, A disciplined man ain’t harmless… He’s decided what’s right. So when you see me laughing with the family around, Working sunup to sundown, boots covered in ground, Understand there’s a history underneath what you found… I didn’t erase that kid. I just finally sat his ass down. [FINAL HOOK – biggest 808s, massive drums, layered organ] That old me… STILL IN THERE, I don’t let him drive, but he’s riding somewhere, Same damn blood, same fire, same stare, Just a grown man’s hands finally holding the wheel there. STILL IN THERE… STILL IN THERE, Every scar, every lesson, every year that I wear, I ain’t ashamed of who I was, he got me here… I just don’t need to become him again To prove… HE’S STILL IN THERE. [OUTRO – cold piano, sustained church organ, heartbeat 808 fading] I didn’t lose him. I raised him. Funny… Took becoming a man to finally raise myself.
