(hook) I laugh, then I lose my mind I say “I’m getting better” But I cry when I drive at night I don’t wanna need love But I hate being left alone I’m fine, I’m just fucked up And nobody fucking knows [Verse 1] My mom thinks I’m doing better ’Cause I answer when she calls But I’m eating dinner standing up In the kitchen, staring at the wall There’s laundry in the corner Like a life I never fold I’ve got friends I never text back Then wonder why I’m alone I still check my phone like a dumbass Like your name could save my life Like one little “I miss you” Could undo every fucked-up night And I know that sounds pathetic But I’m tired of sounding strong Some days I don’t miss you I just miss not feeling wrong [Pre-Chorus] I’m so damn tired Of being easy to leave I wanna be somebody’s reason Not somebody’s “I need space to breathe” I wanna be held without asking I wanna be loved without fear I wanna stop disappearing When I’m still standing right here [Hook] I’m fine, I’m just fucked up I laugh, then I lose my mind I say “I’m getting better” But I cry when I drive at night I don’t wanna need love But I hate being left alone I’m fine, I’m just fucked up And nobody fucking knows [Verse 2] I saved screenshots like evidence That somebody wanted me once Now I stare at old messages Like they’re drugs I shouldn’t touch I sleep with the TV on So the silence has a face And I make jokes about trauma So nobody sees the shape Of the kid still in my chest Who thinks love means getting hurt Who says sorry for existing Who feels guilty taking up earth I hate that I miss people Who made me hard to love I hate that I forgive them Then blame myself for not being enough [Pre-Chorus] I’m so damn tired Of being calm when I bleed I wanna scream, “You fucking broke me” Then beg you not to leave I wanna be normal I wanna be safe I wanna believe someone loves me And won’t change their mind the next day [Hook] I’m fine, I’m just fucked up I laugh, then I lose my mind I say “I’m getting better” But I cry when I drive at night I don’t wanna need love But I hate being left alone I’m fine, I’m just fucked up And nobody fucking knows [Bridge] I don’t wanna die I just don’t wanna live like this With a chest full of almosts And a head full of shit I miss I don’t wanna be dramatic I don’t wanna be a burden But I’ve been smiling through the hurting So long, it stopped working I wanna be picked Not almost, not maybe Not “you’re too much” Not “this has been crazy” I wanna come home To a person, not a room I wanna be loved Before I have to prove That I’m worth the hard days That I’m worth the mess That I’m more than the version Of me people left And maybe that’s the saddest part Maybe that’s what fucked me up I don’t even want perfect I just want someone who doesn’t run [Final Hook] I’m fine, I’m just fucked up I laugh, then I lose my mind I say “I’m getting better” But I cry when I drive at night I don’t wanna need love But I hate being left alone I’m fine, I’m just fucked up And nobody fucking knows I’m fine, I’m just fucked up I’m scared, but I still try I say “it doesn’t hurt now” Then break when I don’t know why I wanted to be chosen Without begging someone to stay I’m fine, I’m just fucked up And I’m not fucking okay [Outro] I’m fine, I’m just fucked up That’s what I always say But if someone really loved me They’d know I’m not okay
