[intro - spoken] Hand Dryers and Clowns: Why God, Why? (why god, why?) (why god, why?) [verse 1] It’s the CLOWNS that piss me off (the clowns!) Try getting a good job at a circus! (good luck! good luck!) You can’t! (you can’t!) The CLOWNS have taken them all (taken them all!) And my degree in bowling pin juggling (bowling pin juggling!) Pffft! Worthless (worthless!) The clowns have taken those jobs, too (those jobs, too!) I just paid off my seltzer water, too (seltzer water!) Forget the red nose (forget it!) [verse 2] I remember when a good clown gig (a good clown gig!) Would pay upwards of six figures! (six figures!) But no, not anymore (not anymore!) It’s all minimum-wage temps! (minimum wage! minimum wage!) And don’t even get me started (don’t get him started!) On the mimes (THE MIMES!) [chorus] Everywhere I look… CLOWNS! (clowns! clowns! clowns!) Everywhere I look… CLOWNS! (everywhere! everywhere!) [breakdown] At the bus stops! (CLOWNS!) Walking along the sides of the roads! (CLOWNS!) Half the ads in my town Are written in Clownese! (CLOWNESE! CLOWNESE!) [bridge - nervous spoken vocal] I think they’re planning an offensive… (an offensive!) I’m suspicious (he’s suspicious!) [outro - stop/start] Watch your six o’clock (six o’clock!) Watch your six o’clock (six o’clock!) CLOWNS! (CLOWNS! CLOWNS! CLOWNS!)
