Let's Get re-Gnarted (Holy Hexes Theme)

[Intro - Spoken, distorted radio filter] *static* You're tuned to Media Monarchy Thursday morning Time to get gnarly *static clears* [Verse 1 - Female lead, energetic] Wake up, it's Thursday morning, time to face the facts James has got the news that's gonna twist your brain in half From Vatican cartoons to Biden biting babies Holy Hexes coming at you, yeah the world is crazy Octopus murders and the Diddy saga Liam Payne fell and the headlines follow Ottoman beds that suffocate mothers Click, click, scroll - one sick story after another [Pre-Chorus - Building, male ad-libs in background: "Here we go!" "Get ready!"] Pop occulture, conspiracy and strange Uncomfortable truths, yeah we cover the whole range Don't look away now, you gotta face the feed This is Gnarly Thursday, this is what you need! [Chorus 1 - Gang vocals, everyone together] Let's get ree-nar-did (ree-nar-did!) Let's get ree-nar-did in here! Every Thursday morning when the world gets weird Come as you nar (as you nar!) Let's get this party nar-did Crack open that Gnarl's-burg Let's get ree-nar-did, yeah! [Verse 2 - Female lead, female ad-libs: "Mm-hmm!" "That's right!"] Graffiti vandals going straight to prison A crow knocked out power, now that's exhibition Dead Kennedys - Ethel, not the band Sex trafficking CEOs across the land Hybrid sheep cloning, that's the science news Headless chickens living, what's your point of view? Chemtrails, church burnings, sleeping aids at school Welcome to the sick, sad world - ain't no golden rule! [Pre-Chorus - Building energy] Jazz, classical and throwback tracks Horrific radio from way, way back James Evan Pilato's got the playlist tight Making sense of madness Thursday morning light! [Chorus 2 - Gang vocals, full energy] Let's raise the nar (raise the nar!) No holds narred in here! Every Thursday morning when the world gets weird It's Thursday nar-lee Brown (are you down?) No nar-mal news today We nar-vel at the madness Let's raise the nar, yeah! [Bridge - Breakdown: just kick drum and vocals, call-and-response] When you think you've seen it all (They prove you wrong!) When the headlines make you crawl (Stay informed, stay strong!) This is Holy Hexes (N-S-F-W!) Gnarly Thursday morning (Media Monarchy!) [Verse 3 - Rapid-fire, building intensity] From Maga to Maxwell, Spacey to Savile Epstein connections, trials that unravel Portland graffiti, New Mexico jokes Governor's gaffes and celebrity strokes El Rito streaming independence in action Alternative news with musical satisfaction Since 2005, the real gets remixed Media that matters in the nar we're fixed! [Final Chorus - Maximum energy, ad-libs throughout: "Here we go!" "Thursday!" "Get gnarly!"] Let's get ree-nar-did (one more time!) Let's get ree-nar-did in here! Every Thursday morning when the world gets weird We're nar for the truth (here for you!) Contra-nar-ian views, my friend! This week's been legend-ary Morning Monarchy is nar Let's get ree-nar-did, yeah! Let's get ree-nar-did (Holy Hexes!) Let's get ree-nar-did in here! (Every Thursday!) The sick, sad world needs you to hear (Truth Music!) Come as you nar - nar - nar! [Outro - Returning to radio filter, fading] *static* That's your Gnarly Thursday Stay informed, stay skeptical Media Monarchy dot com *static fades*