I don’t say much about it now Most people hear enough real quick You can feel the room change sometimes Soon as pain gets brought into it So I keep most of it buried Put the rest into these songs Half the shit I write at 2AM Probably means something’s wrong I’ve gotten good at looking normal That’s a skill nobody wants Smile at work Keep conversations short Then go home and shut everyone out I swear some days I don’t even feel like myself I wanna disappear awhile Get far from everything No check-in texts No fake advice No acting like A good mood fixes this I’m tired in ways Sleep won’t fix Every day already hurts Before it even starts Nobody really understands What it’s like when it never stops How it gets inside your head And stays there with you Meanwhile I’m still awake Writing songs at 2AM Trying to get all this shit out Before my head turns darker again Music’s the only thing That lets me get it out Without somebody wearing it down Or trying to make it sound alright Honestly I know this never leaves I just get sick of dealing with it Every damn day Phone off Truck running Music loud enough To kill the noise Pain changes everything Your patience Your sleep The way you talk to people After enough time You stop explaining anything Because I got sick of talking Everybody disappears eventually Or they quit asking And honestly I don’t blame them anymore It’s hard carrying something People don’t actually know So now I mostly stay up Write music Drive around too late And let the bad thoughts run Some nights get real dark Real fast And I hate how normal That feels now There’s no fixing this Not really I wanna disappear awhile Get far from everything No pressure No expectations No pretending I’m handling this better than I am I’m worn down in ways Most people never notice You learn real fast How alone pain can make you feel Meanwhile life keeps moving Bills show up Phones ring People keep talking like normal And I’m still sitting here at 2AM Trying to write myself outta this feeling Before another night disappears Inside my own head again Music’s the only place lately Where any of this comes out honest Everything else feels pushed now Even me sometimes Honestly I don’t want hope right now I just want one night Where my head shuts off Truck running Middle of nowhere Music loud enough To finally feel nothing
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