How come such a tense situation happened to me? Abandoned, alone, nobody left to see. The radio says “contained,” but the street says otherwise, Fevered bodies stumbling underneath the streetlights. I haven't heard a human voice in days, Just cans in the cupboard and a hundred different ways To starve, to hide, to run, to pray, I raid innocent people's homes just to live another day. I miss human contact, I miss being understood, But that thing by the doorway never was anything good. No thick clothes, just a shirt and a knife by my side, I wish I could've done more... But this is how I died. Damn humanity, left people behind, Lying to more people while we're left to die. I'm living in this sinful place, wondering why, Why the hell I even try if the outcome's the same each time? I run, I hide, I fight, I lose, I try again, Build another shelter just to lose another friend. Maybe every road I take was leading to the same side, So when I finally fall... This is how I died. Next time I was smarter, got firefighter clothes, Heavy on my shoulders but better than exposed. Hotter than hell, sweat dripping from my face, But at least these sleeves could give me some space. Need to stay quiet, can't attract another horde, Smash a window, get inside, grab what I can afford. Food, some medicine, batteries by the door, Then I hear the glass break— Now they're coming for more. One became three, then twenty in the hall, I grabbed my bag and ran but tripped before the wall. I turned around for half a second, nowhere left to hide, And then I knew... I knew that's how I died. Damn humanity, left people behind, They tell us we're safe while we're losing our minds. I'm stuck in this place, asking myself why, Why do I keep trying when the outcome's the same every time? I run, I hide, I fight, I bleed, I crawl, Build myself a shelter just to watch it fall. Maybe there was never any way to survive, Maybe every road was leading to the same side— This is how I died. Next time I went farther, somewhere out of town, Found a rural little shelter where nobody was around. Cleaned the place, boarded windows, reinforced the door, Stacked up food and medicine, then went looking for more. Got a generator, fuel, a weapon by my bed, Made a little map and kept supplies ahead. Winter's coming closer, gotta make the food last, For once I thought survival wasn't running from the past. Then I heard something scratching somewhere near the gate, Three silhouettes outside— Fuck, it's getting late. Check the locks, check the windows, check the fence, check the ground, Check the gate, check the roof, make a sweep all around, Count the cans, count the rounds, count the bottles in the sink, Count the days, count the ways, don't stop, don't think, Grab the axe, grab the bag, grab the keys, grab the gun, One comes left, one comes right, now there's more than one, Swing once, swing twice, keep them off the damn gate, Hands shake, lungs burn, gotta move before it's late, One falls, two crawl, three more pushing through, I keep saying I'm alive— Then I feel the tooth. Maybe I wasn't supposed to make it out. Maybe “immune” was never meant to mean safe. They sealed the roads instead of coming back, Left thousands of people waiting in this place. The radio says, the situation is controlled. I look outside and see the dead walk home. So tell me, Mr. Anchor, what am I supposed to do? If this is what “contained” means, Then what happened to you? How I died... A hundred different ways. In a kitchen, in a hallway, In the middle of a field. How I died... I died before the end. Lost my home, lost my people, Lost the reason to pretend. How I died... Maybe that's the point. You don't need a bullet, Just one stupid choice. The radio keeps talking like the world is getting better, “Knox County has been secured,” printed in a letter. I turn the volume lower, let the broadcast fade away, Outside, something scratches underneath the porch all day. Winter's coming closer, but I still have food inside, Got my axe beside the bed, got the doors reinforced tight. Maybe I can make it through, maybe I can survive, Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up and still be alive. I hear something at the window. Then another at the door. I reach for my weapon, But there are footsteps on the floor. The glass breaks. I turn around. And this time... I don't get another try. This is how I died.
