[Intro] [Verse one] I fought in all sorts of wars and battles I know war and all its pitfalls Now my body is full of bullet holes And I'm going to be replaced by other T-Dolls [Verse two] I'm now out of a job I now mope and sob I'm all out of work Feeling like a right useless berk [Instrumental] [Bridge] I can't just simply stare at the TV It's time to write up a C V I'm told it's no good and should just go on benefits Unemployment is getting on my tits [Chorus] I'm a T-Doll on the dole I'm now as useful as a bloody mole The government now gives me money Just for sitting on my arse and watching telly [Instrumental] [Verse three] They put me on Universal Credit For most physical work, I'm just unfit Yes, I'm a T-Doll But it's not easy to fix up a bullet hole [Verse four] All I do now, stay at home and sit on my arse Life turned out to be a cruel farce Stuffing my face with take aways Sat at home, wasting my days [Bridge] Given 400 pound every thirty days It's nothing special but it pays I could go out and volunteer Yet it's just easier to sit and stay here [Chorus] I'm a T-Doll on the dole I'm now as useful as a bloody mole The government now gives me money Just for sitting on my arse and watching telly [Outro] (Imagine that, being a T-Doll on the dole of all things.)
