The Safety Meeting Phantom

[Verse 1] Wednesday mornin', conference room Coffee burnin' like cheap perfume Safety board and folding chairs Everybody signin' in somewhere Supervisor called the roll Checked each name and marked the whole Then he stopped and scratched his head [Spoken] "Tony's here." Nobody looked up. Nobody said a word. Then somebody finally asked: [Spoken] "Where?" [Chorus] The Safety Meeting Phantom Signs his name and disappears Never seen him walkin' in But somehow he's always here The Safety Meeting Phantom Nobody knows how One minute there's an empty chair Next minute he's around somehow [Verse 2] Chair marked TONY sat alone Projector hummin', lights half-on Supervisor started his speech About safe lift heights and battery leaks Then behind the screen for just a flash Someone saw a bit of camo pass Half the room turned to look around But there was nothin' to be found [Pre-Chorus] No footsteps No voice No clue Just a sound everybody knew [SFX] JINGLE... JINGLE... [Chorus] The Safety Meeting Phantom Signs his name and disappears Never seen him walkin' in But somehow he's always here The Safety Meeting Phantom Nobody knows how One minute there's an empty chair Next minute he's around somehow [Bridge] Safety officer crawled beneath the table [Spoken] "I know I heard keys." Nothing there. Maintenance checked behind the projector. Nothing there. Inventory checked the supply closet. Nothing there. Then from the back row came a quiet sip of coffee. Everybody spun around. Empty chair. Again. [Instrument Break] [Final Chorus] The Safety Meeting Phantom The legend only grows Every meeting adds another tale That nobody really knows The Safety Meeting Phantom Warehouse mystery Attendance says he never missed A meeting in company history [Outro] Meeting ended, chairs got stacked Workers headed slowly back On the attendance sheet that day Next to Tony's name was written: PRESENT And nobody could explain why. [SFX] JINGLE... JINGLE... JINGLE...