I keep telling nothing but lies—it’s pathetic. I’m always running away in the shadows, so frustrating, it hurts. From the feet that back away to the feet that step forward— I want to take the real thing in these hands. [verse] Days where not knowing is always one step ahead, Even what I’m told once never really sinks into my body. No matter how many times I hear it, I mess up somewhere along the way. Will I become skilled, or will I be the one who breaks? Which is it going to be? [verse] Today didn’t go well. Tomorrow scares me. How long will this go on? I just want to quit. Days that were loved for over ten years suddenly start collapsing with a sound. [chorus] I keep telling nothing but lies—it’s pathetic. I can’t even put up a brave front anymore. I do want to move forward, but it’s stuck deep in my throat. Lies pile up endlessly, turning me into such a useless person. Someday, I want to speak with pride— these feelings, these words, are the real thing, unmistakably mine. [verse] No matter how many times I weave words with all my strength, it just comes off as tone-deaf remarks that get brushed aside. After enough of those experiences, of course I start to hate it. Still—do I raise my voice, or do I stop altogether? Which one am I supposed to choose? [verse] If only I could live quietly like this, peace would be best. Being an idiot who keeps suffering— the cost-performance is terrible. Feelings exposed again and again to heat and cold turn into a mess and collapse with a sound. [chorus] I can’t be a role model—it’s pathetic. I hide in the shadows, saying I don’t want anyone to see my back. Even when I someday talk about my view on life in front of others, it’s still stuck deep in my throat. Lies pile up endlessly, turning me into such a useless person. Someday, I want to speak with pride— these feelings, these words— that this isn’t who I really am. The real words are surely here, sleeping far too deep inside to help it. I do want to move forward, but it’s stuck deep in my throat. For the real thing to break through the barrier, I still need more experience and courage. So for now, I’ll just prepare and wait for that moment. These feelings, these words— they are the real thing, unmistakably mine. [End]
