HAPPY PUPPY [INTRO — shouted, count-in] ONE! TWO! ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! [VERSE 1 — fast] You’re my happy puppy I love you all the time Such a happy puppy I love it when you lick meeeee! Hey, happy puppy! What makes you so happy? Smiling with your eyes With your tail going crazy! Holding your leash all by yourself Like you own the fucking street Four little paws, tongue hanging out Everybody that you meet— Says— [CHORUS — gang vocals] HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY HAPPY — WOOF! HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY HAPPY — WOOF! What makes a happy puppy happy? JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! AND TOYS! What makes a happy puppy happy? TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! AND FOOD! [POST-CHORUS — rhythmic chanting] LICK! LICK! WAG! WAG! PAWWWW! PAWWWW! LICK! LICK! WAG! WAG! PAWWWW! PAWWWW! [VERSE 2 — music drops down, then explodes] Happy, happy, happy puppy… Why’d you eat my weed? Happy, happy, happy puppy… MOTHERFUCKER— YOU ATE MY WEED! [BREAKDOWN — half-time, heavy] You ate my weed! WOOF! YOU ATE MY WEED! WOOF! And you’re still sitting there LOOKING AT ME— LIKE I DID IT! [FAST PICKUP] But you’re still my happy puppy! GO! [CHORUS — faster] HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY HAPPY — WOOF! HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY HAPPY — WOOF! What makes a happy puppy happy? JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! AND TOYS! What makes a happy puppy happy? TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! AND FOOD! [BRIDGE — call and response] BATH?! NO WAY! COLLAR?! NO WAY! VETERINARIAN?! OH HELL NO! Then what do we do?! RUN! RUN! RUN-RUN-RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN-RUN-RUN! [FINAL BREAKDOWN — huge gang vocals] LICK! LICK! WAG! WAG! PAW! PAW! LICK! LICK! WAG! WAG! PAW! PAW! [FINAL CHORUS — everybody screaming] HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY HAPPY — WOOF! HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY HAPPY — WOOF! HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY PUPPY! HAPPY FUCKING PUPPY! [STOP] …woof.
