My Boyfriend Would Suck as an Escort

[Verse] He’s late again with some lame excuse A man of action till you see the truth He couldn’t sell a night under city lights More like a ghost Fading out of sight [Verse 2] He’d trip on the runway with untied shoes Lost in the game but he won’t refuse No way he’s shining in a glittering scene His charm’s an illusion It’s paper-thin [Chorus] My boyfriend would suck as an escort babe Can’t sell the dream He’s a tidal wave Wrecking the glam with his moody flair You’d pay him to leave just to taste fresh air [Verse 3] Don’t ask him for champagne He’d bring you soda A night to remember turns Minnesota He’s dressed in sweats for a fine affair Laughter dies ‘cause he doesn’t care [Bridge] But damn That loser’s still my kind of mess Even broken clocks find time to impress He’s my sabotage My crooked fire A walking wreck but my one desire [Chorus] My boyfriend would suck as an escort babe Can’t sell the dream He’s a tidal wave Wrecking the glam with his moody flair You’d pay him to leave just to taste fresh air