[Intro: drum count-in, full band slams in bright] [Verse 1: tight, conversational, winking] You said you were at the dentist — that's three teeth this week And your car's parked, fully legal, halfway down her street You've got receipts for questions I was never gonna raise Rehearsing your defense in the mirror for days [Pre-Chorus: building, palm-muted, rising] So where were you on the night of nothing much? Who's your accomplice in that broad-daylight brunch? Go on and plead the fifth — but buddy, here's the thing: She tells me everything [Chorus: huge, open chords, tambourine, euphoric] Nothing happened! (nothing happened) And it happens every week I caught you doing nothing, red-handed Fingerprints on nothing, squeaky clean Nothing happened! (nothing happened) Go ahead and lie to me The only thing you're ever guilty of is hiding Something you were always free to be [Verse 2: bouncier, walking bass, grinning] I wrote it as a blessing — you read it as a summons Now you only speak in loopholes: "just around," "just running errands" But she tells me 'bout the market and the Sunday matinee You've confessed to nothing, buddy — she confesses it all day [Pre-Chorus: building, brighter] So where were you on the afternoon of nothing new? What's with the hat and sunglasses — real subtle, dude You can shred the evidence, there's nothing there to shred She already told me everything you never did [Chorus: bigger, drums wide open] Nothing happened! (nothing happened) And it happens every week I caught you doing nothing, red-handed Fingerprints on nothing, squeaky clean Nothing happened! (nothing happened) Go ahead and lie to me The only thing you're ever guilty of is hiding Something you were always free to be [Bridge: stripped, half-time, quiet and close] We held the door for each other till it closed Your perfect alibi was the truth — and you never used it once So say it to my face, just once: "nothing happened" [half-spoken, warm] Say it slow — I'll frame it, hang it in the hall [building, drums returning] 'Cause the only charge that's ever gonna stick Is the way you're leaving town Court adjourned before I ever took the stand [Final Chorus: biggest, joyful and aching at once] Nothing happened! (nothing happened) And it happened every week You were doing nothing, red-handed — Best nothing that ever happened to me Nothing happened! (nothing happened) Now there's no one left to lie to me The only thing you're ever guilty of is leaving Like a free man breaking free [Outro: easing down, jangly, wistful, smiling] You made your getaway at the speed limit Blinker on for every turn Both hands at ten and two till you vanished Fully legal, gone for good (nothing happened) (nothing happened) (nothing ever will again)
