Microsoft Office the Musical

[Verse 1] I opened Word at half past eight, To type a memo, not tempt fate, But three bold fonts, a table wide, And now my toolbar's trying to hide! I clicked "Save As" — the screen went grey, It froze my doc and stole my day, Then came a box with grim narration: "This has performed an illegal operation." [Chorus] Why, oh why, do you crash on me? I just wanted bullets and a tidy marquee! I beg you, Excel, don't delete my math— Oops! My spreadsheet's gone and joined the aftermath. PowerPoint trembles with every click, One more animation and the slides go sick, It's a daily trial, pure aggravation— "This program has performed an illegal operation." [Verse 2] Clippy pops up with a smug little face, "Looks like you're writing!" — No! Leave this place! I hit "No Thanks" but he won't scram, Just bouncing there like a guilt-wielding spam. "Would you like help with that?" he grins, No, I’m fine with my accidental margins! He suggested Comic Sans for my resignation— That paper, too, faced an illegal operation. [Chorus] WordArt’s broken, my page is blue, AutoCorrect thinks my name is "Shoe", CTRL + Z’s now a prayer I chant, As Word insists I “can’t do that.” Spellcheck’s drunk and drunk on power, Reboot now takes a whole dang hour, Restarting feels like reincarnation— Just to crash with another illegal operation! [Bridge] (Sung by the Computer Itself) I'm just a humble Windows ME, I wasn’t built for stability... Don’t blame me if I go kaput— You installed a printer? That’s the final foot! [Final Chorus – Everyone sings in chaos] The boss is yelling, the mouse is stuck, Someone’s crying in the paper tray muck! My cursor vanished, it’s now vacationed, Left me alone in error-filled damnation. Oh mercy me, my files are gone, They were right here just moments long! But they're ghosts now, lost in rotation— "This program has performed an illegal operation." [Tag – Clippy's Solo] 🎵 "Need help with that?" 🎵 [Everyone] NOOOOO!