[Intro] [Spoken, no music] Okay… … I have a question. Who started this? Seriously. Who looked at fried rice… and said, “You know what this needs?” … Peas. Tiny little green surprise attacks. They’re everywhere. You pick around them… and there’s another one. Pasta? Peas. Chicken pot pie? Peas. Chinese food? WHY? [Acoustic Spanish Guitar starts] [Verse 1] I don’t understand the appeal Tell me what’s the secret deal? Why’s there always someone thinkin’ Peas belong in every meal? You take a dish that’s doin’ fine Then commit a little crime Scatter little green explosions Like they’re somehow so divine [Pre-Chorus] No offense to garden peas You can stay out in the breeze But when dinner hits the table… [Chorus] Get your peas off my dinner plate Why’d they have to infiltrate? (get ’em off) Fried rice? Really? That’s a crime Every single blooming time Get your peas off my dinner plate I have reached my veggie fate One escaped? Well that’s okay But there’s always thirty-eight [Verse 2] Peas in fried rice Peas in my pasta dish It’s the opposite Of what I would wish Chicken pot pie Mac and cheese Somebody somewhere Just yells “MORE PEAS!” They roll around They won’t behave Little green marbles I never gave a wave [Bridge] Carrots? Sure, we’ll negotiate. Broccoli? Depends on my mood. Corn? Welcome aboard. Peas? We’re gonna need a mediator. [Final Chorus] Get your peas off my dinner plate It’s becoming second nature Every buffet, every bite Tiny green surprise tonight Get your peas off my dinner plate Let the other veggies date You can keep your garden patch Just don’t sneak into my batch [Outro] Lead: Get your peas off my dinner plate! Crowd: OFF MY DINNER PLATE! Lead: Why’d they have to infiltrate? Crowd: INFILTRATE! Lead: Fried rice? That’s a culinary crime! Crowd: THAT’S A CRIME! Lead: Keep your peas a thousand miles from mine! Crowd: NO MORE PEAS! Lead: What do we want? Crowd: NO PEAS! Lead: When do we want ’em? Crowd: NEVER! Lead: What do we want? Crowd: NO PEAS! Lead: Keep ’em outta… Everybody: MY DINNER PLATE!
