YOU ALWAYS CAME

You would roll the ball Across the ground Say, “Use your foot, Don’t kick so hard.” I’d miss it You’d bring it back Like we had nowhere else To be Then basketball Behind the house Badminton When the wind was low I don’t remember Who would win I only remember You were there Back then A day was just a day I didn’t know It could disappear You made a little time Feel like forever You made an ordinary field Feel like the world I thought you’d always Be there waiting Holding the ball Calling me home I didn’t know I was remembering you I thought We were only playing School called home More than it should I knew the walk To that small office I’d sit outside And watch the floor Then hear your steps Come down the hall You always came Sometimes angry Mostly tired But you sat down Beside me first On the way home You talked about next time Like next time Still belonged to me You never let One bad day Tell me Who I had to be You made a little hope Feel like forever You made a difficult boy Feel understood I thought you came Because they called you Now I know You came for me I didn’t know I was remembering you I thought We were only going home Years later I found work Far enough away To call it leaving I said, “I can go alone.” You packed your things And came along You checked the room You checked the road Asked where I’d eat And who I knew I said, “Dad, I’m grown.” You smiled Not because You believed me Because you knew I needed to When I was small You carried me Up on your shoulders I could see Over the crowd Past the roofs Past the trees I thought the world Had opened for me I thought I had become that tall It took me years To understand The view was yours You only Lent it to me You made a little time Feel like forever You made this difficult life Feel almost kind I thought you’d always Come when I called you I still forget From time to time I say your name Inside an empty room And wait Before I remember You cannot come But I still see Past the roofs I still see Past the trees Maybe some part Of you is still Carrying Some part of me You were a good father I wasn’t always A good son But you came Every time