[Intro – DJ scratching, crowd chatter, vinyl crackle] "Yo, yo, yo! Check the situation!" "Somebody call the authorities!" "Why?" "There's a serious lack of funk in here!" A-yo! Sound check, one-two, one-two! We got a party to attend to! DJ, drop that joint! [Beat drops] [Verse 1] I got a pocket full of records and a head full of steam A fresh pair of sneakers and a microphone dream I'm the neighborhood nuisance, the rhythm recruit Got the whole damn block doing circles in boots I don't play nice, I don't play fair I put funk in the atmosphere and leave it hanging there Got a beat so fat it needs its own zip code And a bassline meaner than a landlord's ego I'm the rhyme inspector, the groove detective Got a funky little habit that's highly infectious From the corner bodega to the uptown train When the kick drum hits, put your hands on your brain! [Hook – Crew chants] Break in case of funk! (BREAK IT! BREAK IT!) Break in case of funk! (SHAKE IT! SHAKE IT!) When the beat gets rough and the night gets tough Break that glass, let the funk erupt! Break in case of funk! (BREAK IT! BREAK IT!) Break in case of funk! (SHAKE IT! SHAKE IT!) Ain't no cure, ain't no antidote Just a funky fresh rhythm and a microphone! [Verse 2] I'm a certified menace with a dance-floor license Got more moves than a crooked appliance salesman My shoes got rhythm, my socks got soul My whole damn wardrobe's outta control I got a gold-tooth grin and a thrift-store crown I'm the undisputed king of the lost-and-found You can call me cheap, you can call me broke But my records cost more than your winter coat I got the ladies saying "Damn, who's that fool?" Got the fellas in the back breaking every house rule The DJ's sweating, the speakers are smoking The landlord's downstairs and the ceiling is choking! [DJ Interlude – Scratches] "Hold up, hold up!" "Is this thing on?" "Turn that sucker up!" "Somebody tell the neighbors we ain't done!" [Verse 3] Now I don't need a Benz, don't need a limousine Just a funky little rhythm and a pair of blue jeans No champagne wishes, no caviar dreams Just a forty-ounce philosophy and some collard greens I'm the king of the cut, the prince of the break Got a funk condition that the doctors can't shake I came to get loose, came to get down Came to put some goddamn rhythm in this town! So if your feet feel funny and your knees feel strange That's the funk rearranging your entire frame If your head starts bobbing and your backbone cracks Don't blame me, blame the funky-ass tracks! [Hook – Crew chants] Break in case of funk! (BREAK IT! BREAK IT!) Break in case of funk! (SHAKE IT! SHAKE IT!) When the beat gets rough and the night gets tough Break that glass, let the funk erupt! Break in case of funk! (BREAK IT! BREAK IT!) Break in case of funk! (SHAKE IT! SHAKE IT!) Ain't no cure, ain't no antidote Just a funky fresh rhythm and a microphone! [Bridge – Spoken word over stripped-down bass and scratches] "Attention, party people." "This is not a drill." "Repeat: this is NOT a drill." "In the event of a funk emergency..." "Remain calm." "Locate the nearest dance floor." "Disregard all previous instructions." "AND GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE!" [Final Verse – Faster flow] One for the money, two for the show Three for the people in the back yelling GO! Four for the funk that we brought tonight Five for the freaks getting down outta sight! Six for the DJ with the needle in the groove Seven for the people who forgot how to move Eight for the crew with the fresh-cut fades Nine for the ones who got their rent delayed! Ten! Now everybody get loose! The funk's in the building and it's cutting the juice! [Outro – Beat breaks down, scratches and crowd chants] "Funk emergency!" "Funk emergency!" Break that glass! Break that glass! "Yo DJ, run that back!" [Record scratch] "One more time for the people in the cheap seats!" [Beat cuts abruptly]
