Trigger Warning

Shh Don't move Did you hear that I flinch when the ice machine hums Check the locks check the stove Mouth stays closed but the body's numb I rehearse my “I’m okay” in morse code And can never figure out when I'm supposed to let go I scan for exits I’ve never used Watch your tells I know the truth Learned which floorboards speak too loud Measure safety by the way someone sounds By the pitch of a cough behind me Cause it reminds me To keep my eyes on the shadows In case they try to find me I keep a hoodie in my bag Not for warmth But for disguise And my keys between my fingers Just in case I need to fight Remember if they come at you Just aim for the eyes Some part of me is always watching Even when I’m laughing Even when I’m kind Even when I want to be close Don’t ask why I freeze Ask why I had to learn that Before I learned to sleep Yeah you call it trauma I call it prophecy My body doesn’t lie It just speaks in secrecy Trigger warning trigger Room’s too bright Clock too loud Teeth too white trigger Trigger warning trigger Breath too fast Smell too clean Shadow passed trigger Trigger warning trigger Don’t say touch Don’t ask much Don’t blink trigger Hush I walk fast then faster Then cross the street Cause that truck That engine That rhythm of feet They rhyme too close To a night I forgot But my legs didn’t So I don’t remember I recognize And my pupils shrink And my mouth goes wide And my throat says hide Hide And my spine decides Before I even name the reason why And you call that trauma I call it prophecy My body don’t lie It just speaks in secrecy If I pause before I answer If I freeze before I breathe That’s not fear That’s memory If I smile when I panic If I laugh without the sound Don’t ask why Just look around Trigger warning trigger Room’s too bright Clock too loud Teeth too white trigger Trigger warning trigger Breath too fast Smell too clean Shadow passed trigger Trigger warning trigger Don’t say touch Don’t ask much Don’t blink trigger Hush I got rules like rosaries Keep my back against the wall I don’t wear headphones In case the past calls My body’s not broken It’s just rehearsed To notice the exit Before the thirst No I don’t wanna explain Why my voice sounds sharp Why I laugh when I cry Why I sit in the dark I just need you to know If I go still I’m not gone I’m just back there Trying to stay here And you call that trauma I call it prophecy My body don’t lie It just speaks in secrecy Trigger warning trigger Room’s too bright Clock too loud Teeth too white trigger Trigger warning trigger Breath too fast Smell too clean Shadow passed trigger Trigger warning trigger Don’t say touch Don’t ask much Don’t blink trigger Hush I hear your tone Before your words I brace for pain Before I’m hurt I learned it young I learned it well I mapped my heaven Through my hell This is not paranoia It’s preparedness This is not fear It’s fluency I don’t need you to understand Just to slow your hand Before the knock I don’t need safety I need warning Trigger warning