It felt like the first time doing anything First speech, first show, first kiss, ring. Kinda like the first time public speakin' Climb up trembling to a mic that's squeakin. Like school buses, first crushes, lipstick on wrong The kind of thing that writes its own song. I took the bus to a topless bar, Shopped all morning for heels and charm. Smoke hit first, then sound, then dark A lounge full of perfume and question marks. Smoke and music swallowed the door, A soda in hand, nerves on the floor. Dark lounge, velvet lies, Watched the girls with cautious eyes. The bouncer blinked, I filled the form, Backstage nerves in classic storm. Said, “I don’t have clothes" which was a lie, But nerves don’t care. They just deny. He sold me a bikini for cash I lacked, Said I could pay it back once I was back in the black. Bright mango bikini last in my size! Didn’t match my skin but it matched my rise. So I changed into neon, ready or not Too tight, too bright, but it’s what I got. Back in the dark, mirror-lit room, Fidgeted hard like I’d burst too soon. DJ said, “What lights, what tracks?” I said “No country” and watched him laugh. A man leaned in smooth like he knew the script Said I looked lovely, voice sugar-dipped. I told him, “Yeah, I’m new today.” Never even been in a topless place. He said “You’ll do fine,” and gave a grin, Then left me alone with the lights and sin. They called my name - I rose like breath, Like I could dodge regret and death. Didn’t know the floor was slick as oil, Moved too fast in a nervous coil. Boots hit floor, heart hit spine, I launched too fast, missed the line. Didn’t fall cute, didn’t land slick. Veered too wide, did a slapstick trick. Even in that flailing pose, I moved with gusto heaven knows Spun round the pole, slipped like sin, Gravity flirted - I let it win. A girl in rhinestones pulled me near, Whispered close in my ear: “You don’t gotta dance - just tease. Look at ‘em like you wanna buckle their knees. That’s all it takes. Not grace, not form. Just a bit of nerve and a ‘come-hither’ storm." With gusto, I hit that floor, Slid like hell and came back for more. I didn’t crush - I didn’t quit, And damn, I gotta say: I liked that shit. I had never been in a place like that. Never stood on a stage with just nerve and a rented thong. But I didn’t run. I slipped. I spun. With gusto, I lost control, Laughed mid-fall and owned the role. I came to try, not to impress And baby, I looked good in that mess. Boots hit floor, heart hit spine, I launched too fast, missed the line. Didn’t fall cute, didn’t land slick. Veered too wide, did a slapstick trick. But honey, even on my knees, I milked applause like striptease cheese. With gusto, I hit that floor, Slid like hell and came back for more. I was green, I was loud, With one tit out, still damn proud Didn’t win, but I owned that stage Like a saint in fishnets, center cage. No grace, no fame, no starry name, Just glitter, guts, and a holy flame. Didn’t nail it, didn’t care I made that stage my own affair. I didn’t crush I didn’t quit, And damn, I gotta say: I liked that shit. 2025 Lyrics by Nikki H. / GenXDreams
