[INTRO – VINTAGE VINYL CRACKLE, SOLO ACOUSTIC GYPSY JAZZ GUITAR] [FAST DJANGO-INSPIRED GUITAR RUN, UPRIGHT BASS ENTERS] [DEEP MALE CROONER – OLD-TIME RADIO STYLE] Well, gather round, you cats and dames, I've got a ghost who plays for fame. He died in thirty-six, they say… But he still gigs every Friday! [VERSE 1 – SWINGING GYPSY JAZZ, PLAYFUL MALE VOCAL] He wears a suit that's full of holes, Has cigarette ash where once were souls. A crooked tie, a hollow grin, And cobwebs growing on his chin. He tunes his strings with bony hands, Then plays the hottest riffs in all the lands. The clock strikes three, the lights burn blue, He tips his hat and plays for you! [PRE-CHORUS – GUITAR CHOPS, WALKING BASS, MISCHIEVOUS VIOLIN] He'll steal your heart, he'll steal your chair, He'll steal the comb right out your hair! But if you ask him for a song… He'll play all night — the dead play long! [CHORUS – BIG, CATCHY VINTAGE JAZZ SWING] STRUM THAT GHOST! LET THE DEAD MEN SWING! He's got no lungs, but he sure can sing! Pick it fast, let the shadows dance, The devil himself wants a second chance! HEY, BONES! HEY, BONES! TAP YOUR FEET! There's a dead man playing on Cemetery Street! One, two, three — let the cold wind blow! He died thirty years ago… or so! [INSTRUMENTAL – FAST GYPSY JAZZ GUITAR SOLO, FIERY VIOLIN ANSWER] [VERSE 2 – FASTER, MORE COMEDIC DELIVERY] He played one set in a haunted bar, Then hitchhiked home in a funeral car. The drummer was a headless bloke, Who lost his sticks whenever he spoke. A vampire bought him one last beer, It passed right through him — disappeared! The bartender yelled, "You're drinking for free!" He said, "That's fine — just bury the fee!" [PRE-CHORUS – PLAYFUL GUITAR AND VIOLIN] He'll steal your heart, he'll steal your chair, He'll steal the comb right out your hair! But if you ask him for a song… He'll play all night — the dead play long! [CHORUS – FULL BAND, BIG SWINGING HOOK] STRUM THAT GHOST! LET THE DEAD MEN SWING! He's got no lungs, but he sure can sing! Pick it fast, let the shadows dance, The devil himself wants a second chance! HEY, BONES! HEY, BONES! TAP YOUR FEET! There's a dead man playing on Cemetery Street! One, two, three — let the cold wind blow! He died thirty years ago… or so! [INSTRUMENTAL BREAK – VIRTUOSIC ACOUSTIC GUITAR, DOUBLE BASS WALK, WILD VIOLIN] [BRIDGE – MUSIC DROPS TO SOLO GUITAR] Now here's the thing that chills my spine… That ghost plays better every time. I asked him once, "What's your secret, friend?" He grinned and said… [DEEP WHISPER] "I practice after the end." [PAUSE – ONE DRY GUITAR NOTE] Then he leaned close and said to me… [WHISPER] "You're playing bass for me tonight." [FINAL CHORUS – FASTER, WILDER, FULL VINTAGE JAZZ BAND] STRUM THAT GHOST! LET THE DEAD MEN SWING! He's got no lungs, but he sure can sing! Pick it fast, let the shadows dance, The devil himself wants a second chance! HEY, BONES! HEY, BONES! TAP YOUR FEET! There's a dead man playing on Cemetery Street! One, two, three — let the cold wind blow! He died thirty years ago… [ALL BAND STOPS] [SOLO GUITAR – ONE FINAL QUICK RUN] [DEEP MALE CROONER] …AND HE STILL OWES THE BANDITS DOUGH! [OUTRO – VINYL CRACKLE, DISTANT LAUGHTER, GUITAR FADES INTO STATIC] [WHISPERED] Same time tomorrow, darling? [ONE LAST GUITAR CHORD]
