[Banana Phone] [Jungle Beats] [Money Sounds] (ooh aaah ahh! ooh o oh ooooh o hoh ahh haaha aah ah ooh ahh ooa o oaoo ahhahoah! ooH!) [Phone Rings] [Pick up receiver] How you doing gorgeous 2 H... ok, another day another dildo, how are you feeling today? Militant Hitchhiker Like I've got a billion things in my head that I need to do and not enough people to do them 2 H... i wish i could help you [3:29 AM] or at least find ways to help Militant Hitchhiker I need a million monkeys [3:39 AM] On typewriters H... but you only have you on a keyboard, and there has to be a way that you can execute in a way that allows you to start building ur army of monkeys Militant Hitchhiker Yeah, make my own monkey. But making a monkey is hard work And I feel like we should already have enough monkeys in the forest But I don't have a tasty banana Not for a monkey H... maybe you do have enough monkeys already Militant Hitchhiker If they aren't lined up, then they might as well be cats in a herd. I don't have time for herding cats. I need monkeys. Monkeys that see, monkeys that do, monkeys that jump and climb and swing without being told to get in line. I need a better class of monkey, not the ants that march behind each others arses sniffing their way through the world head to rectum with their brethren who they follow blindly with their nose because they think shit is the best smell they understand. A million monkeys could change the universe, a book? Child's play, and monkeys are smarter than most children, children have morons for parents who handicap them with ignorance and glee for the pride of their own stupid ego's. No. We have no use for those types of monkeys, brainless, reactionary, mentally deficient, under evolved monkeys. No, we need better monkeys, monkeys with brains that work in more than two dimensions of yes and no, we need yes monkeys not no monkeys. Monkeys beyond the need for consideration of their ignorance for they are embracing it, the dumbest monkeys. The smartest monkeys. The most capable and least successful monkeys. Those who know better but are only held back by a system that needs to go fuck itself in the ass with a roll of quarters and learn what it feels like for the rest of the monkeys. So. I need monkeys. And not your everyday regular moron of a monkey that can't do more than type away at a fucking keyboard, because books are for idiots, reading is a skill for children. Real monkeys do better because they already know better, and have no more time for other people's words, oh and there's the problem, you're not a real monkey, you have no time to be a real monkey. Grow up. But if by chance you are a real monkey. Why the fuck are you still playing with your banana? Come get something better. A future.
