[Intro] [jaunty swing piano riff] [walking upright bass and brushed drums enter] [playful muted trumpet lick] [Spoken Intro - wry and conversational] "Listen... the morning sun brings many heavy questions." "Today? It’s griddle versus skillet." [Verse 1] The kettle’s whistling, the kitchen floor is cold, A heavyweight debate that never quite gets old. I reach into the cabinet, I look toward the shelf... (Looking toward the shelf!) A man could lose his sanity, debating with himself. [Pre-Chorus] Do I want a stack of golden discs, Drowned in maple, taking risks? Or do I want the skillet hot, To give the people what they sought? [Chorus] [Punchy and theatrical] (Hey!) Toss out the batter, put the buttermilk away! (All away!) The boy began to holler, and he had a lot to say! Three times for the winner, let the iron skillet sing! (Scrambled eggs! Scrambled eggs! Scrambled eggs!) Yeah, the scrambled eggs are king! With a side of crispy bacon... oh, what a lovely thing. [Verse 2] The lady of the house looked over with a glare, "Pancakes? Absolutely not! Don't you even dare!" (Don't you dare!) So the yellow yolks are cracking, the black pepper flies, (Watch it fly!) No fluffy waffle substitutes, no sugary disguise. [Chorus] (Hey!) Toss out the batter, put the buttermilk away! (All away!) The boy began to holler, and he had a lot to say! Three times for the winner, let the iron skillet sing! (Scrambled eggs! Scrambled eggs! Scrambled eggs!) Yeah, the scrambled eggs are king! With a side of crispy bacon... oh, what a lovely thing. [Instrumental Break] [fleet-fingered jazz piano solo, brisk walking bass, crisp cymbal work] [Bridge] [Tempo slows slightly - mock serious, theatrical] Some folks want flapjacks... towering and sweet. (Towering and sweet...) Some crave French toast down on easy street. (Easy street...) [pause] "Not this house." [Brisk tempo resumes] We know what we like! [Outro] [Big showy Broadway finish] Turn the burner off, let the butter bubble down! (Bubble down!) The breakfast of champions in this corner of the town! (Scrambled eggs!) Hot off the pan! (Crispy bacon!) "Bon appétit, Seattle." [Piano flourishes to high staccato chord] [Drum rim shot] [Fade out]
