WRONG WAY BOB

We told Bob to follow the path. Bob followed the path. Then what's the problem? It was the wrong path. How do you follow the wrong path? Apparently very confidently. Where's Bob now? Nobody knows. Wonderful. Bob left the bayou just before dawn Boots hitting boards while Bob marched on Map in a pocket, lantern held high Walked past the same crooked tree five times We yelled from the porch, “Bob, turn around!” Bob waved back like everything was sound Then disappeared where the black trees throb There goes Bob. Wrong way, Bob. WRONG WAY BOB TURN AROUND YOU'RE WALKING WHERE THERE AIN'T NO GROUND WRONG WAY BOB COME BACK HERE THAT LITTLE TRAIL JUST DISAPPEARED LEFT MEANS LEFT RIGHT MEANS RIGHT HOW DID BOB GET THAT WRONG ALL NIGHT? WE GAVE BOB A MAP WE GAVE BOB A JOB NOW EVERYBODY'S LOOKING FOR WRONG WAY BOB Found Bob's footprints beside the creek Followed them around for nearly a week Tracks went north, then east, then south Then somehow came from inside our house Bob crossed a bridge that doesn't exist Walked through a clearing swallowed by mist Came out behind us carrying a frog How? Don't ask. Wrong way, Bob. We need a better system. Signs. Good idea. We put up signs. What happened? Bob turned them around. Why? Bob said they were facing the wrong way. Were they? Not until Bob touched them. WRONG WAY BOB TURN AROUND YOU'RE HEADING STRAIGHT FOR DRAGON BOB NOW WRONG WAY BOB STOP RIGHT THERE WHY IS BOB CLIMBING THROUGH THE AIR? UP AIN'T DOWN DOWN AIN'T UP BOB JUST WALKED OFF WITH SOMEBODY'S CUP WE DREW BOB A MAP WITH ONE STRAIGHT LINE BOB STILL ARRIVED ON THE OTHER SIDE Then Dragon Bob opened one violet eye Watched little Wrong Way Bob wandering by Bob climbed the tail and crossed the back Walked down a wing like a woodland track Stopped on a horn and looked around Pointed toward the sky and said Found town. That's the moon. Close enough. NO, BOB. We tried an arrow painted on a tree Bob followed backward deliberately We tied purple ribbons all down the trail Bob followed a possum carrying its tail We sent three Bobs to bring Bob home Now four Bobs are somewhere unknown Sent another Bob to find the four Stop sending Bobs! Why? WE'RE MAKING IT WORSE. WRONG WAY BOB WHERE'D YOU GO? THAT IS THE ONE THING WE'D LIKE TO KNOW WRONG WAY BOB NOT AGAIN YOU LEFT WITH FOUR NOW YOU'VE COME BACK WITH TEN BOB FROM THE NORTH BOB FROM THE SOUTH ONE HAS A FISH HANGING OUT OF ITS MOUTH BOB FROM THE WATER BOB FROM THE LOG AND SOMEBODY'S RIDING ON DRAGON BOB Wait. Where's Wrong Way Bob? Right here. That's not Wrong Way Bob. How can you tell? That Bob has a hat. Wrong Way Bob had a hat. No, Wrong Way Bob stole a hat. From who? That Bob. Oh. So THAT'S Wrong Way Bob? No. WHY NOT? Wrong Way Bob just walked behind you. BOB! The bayou erupted from shoreline to trees Little Bobs running wherever they pleased Some went forward, some went back Some abandoned every recognizable track Dragon Bob watched with a tired violet stare While Bobs started appearing everywhere Masked Bobs stood silently watching the mob This is your fault. Mine? You named him Wrong Way Bob. WRONG WAY BOB LEAD THE PARADE NOBODY KNOWS WHAT ROUTE YOU MADE WRONG WAY BOB MARCH AHEAD HALF OF THE BOBS WENT LEFT INSTEAD OVER THE BRIDGE UNDER THE TREE THROUGH SOMEWHERE THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE NO DESTINATION NO PLAN, NO JOB JUST FOLLOW THE LEGEND OF WRONG WAY BOB Hours later the swamp went still Moon hanging low beyond the hill Then through the fog came one small light Wrong Way Bob finally walked into sight Covered in mud with a sack on his back Smiling like Bob never left the track Where were you? Getting dinner. You were gone for nine hours! Yep. Did you at least bring food? Yep. Oh. Well... good Bob. Wait. Where's the food? Wrong bag. BOB! Where's the right bag? I left it at home. WE ARE HOME. Oh. Wrong home. WRONG WAY BOB! Bob? TURN AROUND! Which way? Nobody answer him.