Dear senior engineer, your brilliance is astounding. / This optimized concurrent code is certainly dumb-founding. / I’m trying to add some metrics here, and my headache is pounding, / There’s no explanatory comment found in all the code surrounding! Junior engineer, don’t fret, I’m glad to talk you through it. / Let’s screen share and I’ll show-and-tell you how the big kids do it. / The structure is self-evident, it’s a Gang of Four design. / Oh, you haven’t read those books yet? Check Safari Books Online. In the mean time, let me introduce producers and consumers. / You’re working at Confluent now. Surely you’ve heard rumors. / The buffer in between helps with smoothing out back-pressure, / But its size will help us understand our latency, so measure! Measure the latency and buffer size. / Measure complexity, you win the prize. / Measure the documentation gone cold. / Out-dated 1-pagers? You win the gold. / Kanban board tickets assigned to my name. / Just a task title, without a frame / of reference for me to get in the game. / Who wrote this ticket? … You get the blame. Chorus: Don’t get me wrong, I can fill the description. / I’ll try to figure out what I should do. / But sometimes it feels like I’m breaking encryption / Without the context that I need from you. That's fair. I know what you’re saying is fair. / I’ve been in meetings, my free time was rare. / I hope you understand that I care. / And that I’m more than happy to share. Actually, sharing is just what I need. / We have team members. I’m just the lead. / Your teammates also can help you succeed. / Blocked? Ask. … Learn to proceed. I’m looking ahead at designs and direction, / Breaking out tasks when we know what’s required. / If you were hoping for project perfection, / I may not manage to give what’s desired. Perfection, is not what I ask. / Dissection, into every task? / Correction, just perspective's needed. / Take better notes. See objectives completed. Oh, that’s encouraging for me to hear. / I see your growth as you volunteer. / Hey, there’s a tech council meeting with Jay…? “Put me in coach, I’m ready to play.” / Or listen at least, dip my toes in the stream... Let’s get you some context... Hashtag oneteam!
