Citizens! Tools down. Listen to me, you Brick Layers... you Roadmen... you builders of the Empire. You cannot build a wall on empty air. You cannot fix the road on a hollow stomach. Look at your hands. They are covered in dust... and lime... and honest dirt. Do not wipe them on your trousers. Wipe them on the napkin... if you have one. It is time to load the Hod. The Bread. I do not want to see thin slices here. We are dealing with Bricks. The Tin Loaf; White, Square, Dense. It should be as thick as your thumb. The Butter... slather it on with a trowel. Listen to me, Roadmen; You work in the rain. The butter is your Damp Course. Spread it thick, Edge to edge. Seal the bread against the moisture. If the damp gets in... the structure fails. The Ham. Look for the words... "Wiltshire Cured." This means it has slept in brine... and molasses... for weeks. It has not been injected with water to increase the weight. It is dense. It is dry. It is concentrated pig. Cooked on the bone. The bone is essential... it is the conductor of the soul. Now... The Carving. Do not use a machine. A machine cuts wafers... wafers are for communion, not for construction. Use a knife. We want "Hand Carved." It should be thick... as a pound coin. You should see the grain of the muscle... running like a river map. You should see the fat... the white rim of energy. Do not cut it off. The fat is the fuel. The fat... is the flavour. If you hold the slice up to the light... And you can see through it... Throw it away. It is unfit for service. The ham is the iron in the concrete. Do not fold it nicely. Stack it. Now... The Choice. For the Brick Layer... Mustard. English. Hot. It cuts through the lime dust in your throat. For the Roadman... Apple Sauce. The sugar... to keep the engine running when the tar is hot. Decide. Put the lid on. Press it down... like you are setting a paving slab. Cut it in half. Rectangles. Grip it firmly. Do not extend the pinky finger, we are not signalling the fleet. Take a bite. Chew. Swallow. Wash it down with tea... sweet enough to stand a spoon in. Refuelling complete. The wall will not build itself. The road will not mend its own pot-holes. Pick up the trowel, you have been fed. Carry on.


