One, two, a-one-two-three-four! Well, I’m standing in the kitchen and the clock is ticking fast Got a pile of feathered friends and I’m hoping they’re the last! My boss is in the driveway, yeah, he’s running a bit late So I’m standing here a-working at a truly frantic rate! (Slide whistle up!) I am not the pheasant plucker, I’m the pheasant plucker’s mate And I’m only plucking pheasants 'cause the pheasant plucker’s late! I’m a pleasant pheasant plucker, plucking pheasants in the sun And I’ll be plucking pleasant pheasants till the pheasant plucking’s done! (Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!) Now, don’t you get it twisted, no, don’t let your tongue get stuck There’s a very specific science to the way you gotta pluck! I’m not the pheasant plucker’s son, nor the pheasant plucker’s sire I’m just plucking pleasant pheasants by the pleasant plucking fire! (Wait, did I just say what I think I said? No! Moving on!) I am not the pheasant plucker, I’m the pheasant plucker’s mate And I’m only plucking pheasants 'cause the pheasant plucker’s late! I’m a pleasant pheasant plucker, plucking pheasants in the sun And I’ll be plucking pleasant pheasants till the pheasant plucking’s done! (Shouted) Look out! Feathers everywhere! They’re in my ears! They’re in my nose! A frantic pheasant plucker found a pheasant in a pen He plucked that pleasant pheasant then he started in again! The plumage is a-flying and it’s fast and it is free There ain’t a pheasant plucker half as pleasant-looking as me! (Accordion trill) I am not the pheasant plucker, I’m the pheasant plucker’s mate And I’m only plucking pheasants 'cause the pheasant plucker’s late! I’m a pleasant pheasant plucker, plucking pheasants in the sun And I’ll be plucking pleasant pheasants till the pheasant plucking’s done! Yeah, until the plucking’s done! (Yodel-ay-hee!) Just a-plucking in the sun! (Slide whistle down) I think I need a lozenge. Hey!
