I saw you in a dream last night, And you were standing there, Watching us keep living life, Watching laughter fill the air. And something in your broken heart Reached straight across to mine— Because moving on can still hurt When love gets left behind. I woke up acutely aware of something I've always known: You don't love someone for seventeen years Then suddenly, overnight, it's gone. I can love the life we're living, I can love the peace we've found, And still remember all the joy That came from having you around. They songs are all true. Every question, every tear, Every 'I Loved You Anyway', Every memory I still hold dear. Every 'What did you think would happen?' Every hard thing we went through— The anger and the gratitude, The missing and the freedom too. They don't cancel each other out. I don't have to choose. Every song came from somewhere real. And they're all one hundred percent true. I'm glad we're not still spending At somebody else's beck and call. Now Rick and I decide where our money goes— And if it goes at all. I'm glad I have my life back. I'm glad I finally see— I could have tried forever And you never would have accepted me. I'm glad I didn't spend Another seventeen years Trying to earn a place beside you, Trying harder and harder through the tears. Now I pour my love where love can live, Where it's given room to grow, Where I don't have to earn my place— I'm simply loved and known. The songs are all one hundred percent true. Every 'I Loved You Anyway', Every memory I still hold dear. Every 'Look what I got back', Every truth I had to face, Every moment I remembered, Every time I felt out of place. Relief doesn't mean I never loved you. Freedom doesn't make that untrue. I can cherish what we had And love what I have now too. There were moments. Maybe fewer than I'd hoped, But there were moments I will keep No matter where this story goes. A laugh. A hug. A memory. A time I thought we'd finally made it through. I won't rewrite the happy memories Just because hurt has come from you. And I won't rewrite the hard ones Just to make the story kind. There are questions that still matter, And some answers left behind. Sometimes truth has sharper edges. Sometimes truth can make you laugh. Sometimes all that's left to ask is, "What did you think would happen after that?" That's what Purging the Pain is all about— Telling every side that's true. The hurt, the joy, the questions, And the love I still have for you. I can say things are better now. I can mean it through and through. Yet still, when I sensed your heart break, Mine was breaking too. The songs are all one hundred percent true. I was hurt. I gave too much. I learned my worth. I asked the questions. I found my peace. I stopped chasing. I was released. I love the life that's waiting Now that I don't have to prove That I deserve a place among you By how much I give or do. I knew life with Rick was beautiful— I couldn't imagine having anything more. Then somehow going through this together Opened an even greater joy we'd never known before. But don't mistake our happiness For a heart that stopped loving you— That's the strangest part of all of this The songs are all one hundred percent true These songs won't tell the story In one tidy shade or hue. Some will ache and some will laugh, Some will ask what no one knew. Some will celebrate the life I finally came back to. But underneath them all, Whatever else the songs may say, The love I carried all those years Has never gone away. I loved you then. I love you still. And while they’re all one hundred percent true— I always will.
