[Verse 1] A modern wit, with pen so sharp, He eyed the world with knowing grin! O'Rourke said Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys! [Chorus] Heave ho, O'Rourke, with laughs and groans! He rattled politicians' bones! Heave ho, through folly's tangled maze! In these confusing modern days! [Verse 2] When laws control who buys and sells, The first thing sold, ye understand, O'Rourke said When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators! [Chorus] Heave ho, O'Rourke, with laughs and groans! He rattled politicians' bones! Heave ho, through folly's tangled maze! In these confusing modern days! [Verse 3] The puzzle isn't how things run, In Washington's perplexing state! O'Rourke said The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop! [Chorus] Heave ho, O'Rourke, with laughs and groans! He rattled politicians' bones! Heave ho, through folly's tangled maze! In these confusing modern days! [Verse 4] One basic right for every man, O'Rourke said There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences! Don't blame the drink, don't blame the smoke, O'Rourke said Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power! Think healthcare's dear? Just wait and see, O'Rourke said If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free! Politics? A power game, O'Rourke said Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit! When godliness is hard to find, O'Rourke said Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely! [Chorus] Heave ho, O'Rourke, with laughs and groans! He rattled politicians' bones! Heave ho, through folly's tangled maze! In these confusing modern days!
