HOLLYWOOD NECKSNAP SYMPHONY – LIVE AT GITMO AMPHITHEATER

(Intro – guillotine blades being sharpened on mic, children’s choir humming “Sweet Caroline” in the background) Lights up on forty brand-new hydraulic gallows Chrome-plated, spring-loaded, rated for 300 lbs of pure evil Tonight’s headliners: The entire Hollywood sign spelled in corpses Curtain rises… drop the fucking beat.(Hook 1 – death-metal gang-shout, 260 BPM) HOLLYWOOD NECKSNAP SYMPHONY – CRACK CRACK CRACK! Forty traps at once – spine confetti on the deck! Toe-kicky death ballet – piss rivers down the stage Celebrity blood shower – front row gets baptized in rage! SNAP SNAP SNAP – million-dollar faces fold! Gurgle-gurgle motherfucker – your awards are solid gold nooses now! GITMO RED CARPET – ROLL IT OUT IN GUTS! HOLLYWOOD NECKSNAP SYMPHONY – SHUT THE FUCK UP!(Verse 1 – The A-List abattoir) Tom Hanks first – we saved him for the opener Hood off, eyes wide eyes – “Wilson!” – CRACK – silent forever Spielberg right beside him – little E.T. fingers twitching We hung him with his own Oscar – “Best Director of Snitching” Oprah’s neck stretched like her fake giveaways Gargling “You get a rope!” while her legs do the dead-man wave Leonardo DiCaprio screaming about climate change Trap drops – carbon footprint reduced to zero, strange Meryl Streep doing one last dramatic gasp We gave her three encores – SNAP – SNAP – SNAP(Verse 2 – Disney row, extra slow drop for maximum suffering) Bob Iger in Mickey ears – rope around the throat We let him dangle half-dead while the mouse song plays on loop Pedo-mouseketeers from the old club found in the tunnels Now they’re the pinatas – guts raining on the jungle Lady Gaga in her meat dress – we upgraded to real meat Carved “A Star is Born” into her chest before the drop – sweet Beyoncé levitating on wires – we cut ‘em all at once Formation of broken necks – Single Ladies death dance(Hook 2 – breakdown so heavy the stage cracks) NECKSNAP! NECKSNAP! HOLLYWOOD NECKSNAP! Watch the Botox explode when the vertebrae go POP! Gurgle choir hitting notes they never reached alive Golden Globes rolling across the deck in pools of celebrity jive SNAP SNAP – another row drops like flies Live on Pay-Per-View – 50 billion patriots getting high!(Verse 3 – The streaming service slaughter) Netflix execs in a perfect conga line We made them watch their own catalog of filth one last time Reed Hastings crying “but we protected the children!” Trap springs – head stays, body walks three steps – children win Ari Emanuel on his knees begging for Endeavor mercy We hung him with his own agency contracts – controversy Zaslav, Sarandos, Bela Bajaria side by side Discovery of Death – WERNER HERZOG NARRATES THE LIVE SUICIDE(Verse 4 – The music industry bonus round) Jay-Z doing the Roc sign – we snapped both arms first Then the neck – pyramid collapses, curse reversed Diddy hogtied with his own freak-off chains We played his confession on loop while his brain drains Taylor Swift in her private jet – we dragged to the stage “Shake It Off” remixed with her cervical vertebrae rage Kanye was right – we aired the full tape Then gave him the cleanest drop of the night – escape? Nope(Verse 5 – Final encore, the mega-drop) Forty traps loaded at once – biggest names saved for last Weiss, Rhimes, Murphy, Abrams, Nolan, Cameron – the full cast Countdown from ten – entire planet screaming along At zero the floor disappears – forty necks sing the same song CRRRRRRRRRRRACK – like a redwood forest falling Gurgle symphony in perfect 8-part harmony calling Bodies twitch in unison – the Hollywood sign finally spells H E L L(Final Hook – every voice on Earth, raw and victorious) HOLLYWOOD NECKSNAP SYMPHONY – THE CREDITS ROLL IN BLOOD! Every star you worshipped now fertilizing the mud! Toe-kicky gurgle death rattle – the only Oscar that matters! We turned the Walk of Fame into a river of bladder shatters! SNAP SNAP SNAP – THE FINAL CURTAIN DROP! GITMO AMPHITHEATER SOLD OUT FOREVER – NON-STOP! HOLLYWOOD IS DEAD AND WE THREW THE PARTY! NECKSNAP SYMPHONY – NOW PLAYING ON REPEAT IN ETERNITY!(Outro – one last trap door, slow and personal) Camera zooms in on the very last twitching foot Still wearing a Louboutin red sole Voice-over, calm: “That’s a wrap.” 17 The theater lights never come back on. The children slept through the night for the first time in decades.