(Final Cut) [Intro – spoken over buzzing riff] Fourth of July leftover… Slimer’s got the bandanna…fire cracker gag let’s go… [Verse 1] Slimer rolls in late but smooth with a bandanna wrapped around his arm he takes a seat Miss Neilson was speaking I whisper to him [whispered male voice] (fake the injury, she’ll fall for the charm) Right away she spots it — “What’s wrong with your arm, Luis?” Lookin’ all pitiful, workin’ that fake-ass charm I told him secretly, “Bro just fake the pain, She’ll eat it up, you’ll skip the work, easy game” He sits down real slow, winces like it hurts so bad Miss Neilson walks over to our desk eyes goin’ all sad “What’s wrong with your arm, Luis? What happened to you?” Here comes the Oscar performance, he knows just what to do [Chorus] M80 in my hand! Exploded on the 4th! Miss Neilson’s class, sympathy overload! What's an M80? Miss Neilson asks It's a big firecracker with enough power to blow your fingers off. Bandanna and tears, she’s buyin’ every word Slimer’s fakin’ like a pro, best scam we ever heard! [Verse 2] I’m sittin’ in the back with big chunks of beef jerky from camp Leftover Fourth of July, dark, dry, big bag sharing Wolfie signals to me to toss him a piece Toss a piece — it hits the floor, nobody wants that nasty bit I give it a sneaky kick… slides right next to Slimer’s foot Miss Neilson turns around, eyes lock on that nasty thing Points straight down — “What’s that?! On my clean classroom floor?!” I don’t miss a beat, dead serious face, look her in the eye “Ahh Miss Neilson… that’s Slimer’s scab — he peeled it off, that’s how big his wound is, why?” [Chorus – bigger] M80 in my hand! Look at the size of that scab! Miss Neilson’s class, we’re never doin’ our assignment! “Oh my God!” she’s clutchin’ her chest, turnin’ white as snow Staring at that jerky like it’s a horror show Honney you sure you don't want to go home? I'll give you a pass just go see the nurse first. [Bridge – half-time, nasty & slow] She’s horrified, hand over mouth, can’t believe the size Slimer’s holdin’ his “wounded” arm, lookin’ extra traumatized I’m in the back dyin’, bitin’ my lip so I don’t laugh Whole class ‘bout to explode — this scam’s a masterpiece [Final Chorus – full gang shout] M80 in my hand! Scab the size of my thumb! Beef jerky deception — here it comes! Miss Neilson freaked out, buyin’ every lie Sympathy points through the roof — best day of our lives! M80! Scab attack! Fake wound, real attack! Miss Neilson’s class — Episode Four Fake arm, beef jerky scab… we always want more! [Outro – shouted over crashing end] “Oh my God…” That’s his scab, Miss Neilson… Poor Luis… Yeah right!
