And knowing is half the battle

[Intro] [Heroic Synth-Brass — Military Snare — Guitar Riff] Red lasers! Blue lasers! Cobra's at it again! Nobody hits a goddamn thing— But something's gonna explode by ten! [Verse 1] Cobra Commander screaming orders, Destro's chrome head shining bright, Baron-ess in black and glasses, Probably planning something overnight. Duke was leading, Flint was ready, Roadblock brought the heavy gun, Scarlett had a loaded crossbow— Against lasers. Sure. Why not? Sounds fun. Then Snake Eyes walked in dressed in black, Never said a single word. Didn't need to. We all knew He was the coolest fucking nerd— Wait. Ninja. Definitely ninja. [Pre-Chorus] Jets are falling from the sky, Pilots parachute away. Tanks explode, but everybody Somehow lives another day. Cobra fires red! Joes fire blue! That's apparently what armies do! [Chorus] AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE! That's what G.I. Joe would say. Learn to never talk to strangers, Then go blow some shit away! AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE! Yeah, they taught us what to do. And apparently the other half Was shooting lasers red and blue! [Verse 2] Then there were the action figures. Holy shit, those toys were great. Every Joe had some specialty, Every Cobra had a fate. Backpacks, rifles, little file cards, Vehicles across the floor, You bought one and immediately Needed twenty-seven more. Snake Eyes always got picked first. That's just how the playground goes. Give him swords and an Uzi— Why? Because he's Snake Eyes. That's all you need to know. Then there's Gung-Ho, the Marine. No shirt. Big tattooed chest. Apparently body armor Was for people less obsessed. And Shipwreck is a sailor. Okay, that part tracks so far— Wait. Does that motherfucker Have a parrot? He does. Of course he does. [Chorus] AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE! That's what G.I. Joe would say. We've got ninjas, tanks and parrots— Don't you question it, okay? AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE! Every mission followed through. Half was useful information. Half was lasers red and blue! [Verse 3] Then the battle would be over. Cobra's latest plan was wrecked. And suddenly some random kid Was doing something incorrect. Climbing somewhere they shouldn't climb, Talking to some stranger guy, Playing near a power line— Here comes a Joe to tell 'em why. Don't go swimming there alone. Don't take rides from someone strange. Don't play games with electricity. Hey... That's actually good advice. The kid would smile: "Now I know!" Here comes the line we'd wait to hear— [Pre-Chorus] AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE! Half? Hold the fuck up. Half? If KNOWING is only half... What's the OTHER half? [Instrumental Rise] [Driving Drums — Synth-Brass — Guitar Climbing] Let's review the evidence. [Final Chorus] AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE! Teach us wrong and teach us right! Look both ways and don't trust strangers! Then it's back into the fight! AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE! That much turned out to be true. But Saturday morning clearly taught us There was something else to do! Red on one side! Blue on the other! Cobra running for their lives! Jets exploding! Joes advancing! Somehow EVERYBODY SURVIVES! AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE! We finally cracked the math: Knowing was the first half. Snake Eyes handled the other half.