In the land of opportunism, it’s a bald eagle truism, play by the rules and you’re the dupes. Everywhere you turn another bill. Every symptom’s got a pill. Every tank mate is a shark. On a drab note, avoid the lab coat. They got a way of leaving your wallet stripped. But I’m at the point when, gotta make my appointment the bandit known as my Big Pharma pusher pimp. [instrumental solo] Checks my pulse, I’m still alive, no time for a deeper dive. Got someone real sick down the hall. Some pills for when I’m feeling bad, some more for when I’m going mad. In fact why don’t I just take ‘em all? Side effects are blindness and gas, diarrhea migraines and rash. If you don’t heal first, you’ll feel much worse soon. Robs you like a mugger, just a sucker drugger. One more side effect: may turn your teeth blue. Gotta thank Big Pharma pusher pimp. He’s in the tank, selling the fix. TV ads wouldn’t lie. Raised to buy what they tell us. Trained to try what they sell us. Feel the pull of the pusher till you die. Side effects may include weight loss, weight gain, and sudden instant death. Side effects may include heartburn, mild cough and violent choking death. Side effects may include fever, bloating, and blood-curdling, spine-snapping, horrifying, petrifying, convulsive, violent choking sudden instant death.
