[INTRO] *Distorted guitar feedback* *Slow, heavy drums* *Bass drone* I didn't mean to... I swear I didn't mean to... [VERSE 1] FC called the primary, hostiles on the grid Locked up my targets, did everything he said Overheated my guns, tunnel vision setting in Twenty reds on overview, chaos wearing thin Clicked the wrong bracket in the middle of the fight Didn't check the color, didn't see the blue light Missiles already flying before I realized Shot my own alliance member, watched him get vaporized Chat exploded instantly, "WHO THE F*** SHOT ME?" I saw my name in local, stomach dropped, couldn't breathe Tried to type "I'm sorry" but my hands were shaking bad Just killed a blue in battle, worst mistake I ever had Fleet went silent on comms, FC asking "Who?" I spoke up, voice cracking, "Sir... I think it's... it was me too" Director checked the logs, confirmed it was my shot Now I'm sitting in this station, hating what I've got [CHORUS] I killed a blue today In the chaos, in the fray Didn't mean to, didn't see Now his blood's all over me I killed a blue today Everything I worked to build just slipped away One click, one mistake, one friendly fire Now I'm drowning in the guilt, sinking deeper in the mire I killed a blue... and I can't take it back I killed a blue... fading to black [VERSE 2] He messaged me after, clone back in the station Said he knows mistakes happen but I hear the accusation Lost his faction fit, three hundred million gone I sent him all my ISK but the damage has been done Alliance meeting scheduled, leadership wants to talk My corp mates won't look at me when I pass them on the dock Killboard shows the truth, my name in infamy The guy who shot his brother in the middle of the siege I can't sleep at night, keep seeing that explosion His ship breaking apart in cinematic slow motion My fault, my gun, my terrible mistake Now every time I undock, I feel my hands shake Should I biomass this character? Start fresh, start new? But running from the guilt won't make it any less true I have to live with this, wear it like a scar The capsuleer who killed a blue, that's who we are [CHORUS] I killed a blue today In the chaos, in the fray Didn't mean to, didn't see Now his blood's all over me I killed a blue today Everything I worked to build just slipped away One click, one mistake, one friendly fire Now I'm drowning in the guilt, sinking deeper in the mire I killed a blue... and I can't take it back I killed a blue... fading to black [BRIDGE - BREAKDOWN] *Guitars drop to clean tone* *Just bass and soft drums* *Vocal raw and vulnerable* They say it happens to everyone eventually They say one day I'll forgive myself, believe me But right now all I see is that explosion Right now all I feel is this corrosion Of trust, of pride, of everything I thought I knew About being careful, being good, staying true One moment of chaos, one fraction of a second And now I'm branded forever with this lesson *Building back up with distortion* I checked my settings twice since then I triple-check each lock, again and again But nothing's gonna change what happened that day Nothing's gonna wash this stain away [VERSE 3 - HEAVY] *Full distortion, drums hitting hard* Director called me in, expected to be kicked Said "You're suspended for a week, your fleet rights restricted" Could've been worse, could've been exile But the shame cuts deeper than any hostile I sat out the next siege, watched from the sidelines My corp mates in the fight while I'm serving out my time Every kill they scored felt like a knife Reminder of my failure, reminder of that life I took from our alliance with my careless click Makes me physically nauseous, makes me f***ing sick One blue dead because I couldn't slow down One friendly fire incident, one more fleet clown But I'm not running, I'm not hiding from this pain Gonna earn back every bit of trust I slayed Gonna prove I'm more than this one terrible day Even if forgiveness feels a lifetime away [FINAL CHORUS - DESPERATE] I killed a blue today And I'll carry that forever, come what may Didn't mean to, but I did Now I gotta live with it, no matter what I wish I killed a blue today Sorry doesn't fix it, sorry doesn't pay One click, one mistake, one moment of hell Now I'm living in my personal cell I killed a blue... and it's killing me I killed a blue... will I ever be free? [OUTRO] *Guitars feeding back* *Drums slowly fading* *Whispered/spoken* His name was... Zundyr I see it every time I close my eyes Blue on my overview Red in my soul *Single distorted guitar note ringing out* I'm sorry I'm so f***ing sorry *Fade to silence*
