[INTRO] [The steady, clinical BEEP of a heart monitor begins, echoing with a metallic, cavernous reverb] I’m fine. (I’m fine) I’m fine. (I’m fine) Don’t look at the belly of the porcelain Everything is... fine I’ve hidden every calorie, I’ve measured the waist I’ve scrubbed every "failure" and "greedy" little taste Oh, but is she happy? The scale is so kind Now that I’ve left all the "me" parts behind. [VERSE 1] [Rhythm: A heavy, mechanical hydraulic press THUD slams every 4th beat] I’m squeeze-sealed shut and I’m ready to ship No more "extra" allowed to give me the slip "You're eating again?" and "You're looking too big" I’ve taken the guilt and I’ve tucked it within [Whisper: ...the bathroom light's on...] Empty is pretty, now nod with a grin I’ve purged out the parts where she said should be thin I’m a porcelain doll with a metal spine Don't I look lovely? Don't I look... fine? [BRIDGE 1: THE PORCELAIN RITUAL] [The music drops to a low, humming drone—the sound of a bathroom fan whirring overhead] [Vocal: Robotic, monotone, layered with a child-like giggle] * Step one: Lock the door. Step two: Hit the floor. Step three: Count the seconds ‘til she’s not there no more. Step four: Fingers in. Step five: Pay for the sin. Step six: Flush the evidence of where I've been [Music stops. The sharp CLACK of a toothbrush hitting floor tiles.] [CHORUS] [The heart monitor BEEP doubles in speed, layering with the sound of a grinding industrial saw] I’m fine. (I’m fine) I’m fine. (I’m fine) I’m sharpening my edges, I’m polished to a blur I’m exactly the version that she would prefer I’m "trimming the fat" until there’s no weight A fuckin’ starving disaster, my very best plate [VERSE 2: THE GLASS ENGINE] [The beat thins out into a sharp, repetitive metallic clicking—like a clock ticking at 3x speed] I’m chasing the dragon called "never sleep" to keep the stomach flat I’m about to poke holes in my arms, but I know there's no coming back from that I’m starting to pick at my reflection 'til the surface starts to bleed I’ve finally killed the only thing that I used to think I need [Vocal: Rapid-fire, staccato delivery] I’m wired and tired, and now I’m hired to be the machine Try not to be mean and try to stay clean, don't steal the chitty ching ching just a skinny witty brittle machine [Music stops for a split second] (But hey, I lost thirty pounds.) [Beat slams back in] I’m thin and I’m in, I’m beginning to spin Feeding the "little ol' me" to the crystals white fires within [Vocal: Monotone, fast, and exhausted] No more kitchen. No more chewing. No more losing the game Every day is a loop and every calorie is a shame I smoke to turn the off-switch so I found the way to stay thin So I don't have to keep eating again And again And again [BRIDGE 2: THE GLASS RITUAL] [The sound of a butane torch HISS becomes a piercing, metallic whine] [Vocal: A cracked, dehydrated rasp—audible, labored gasps for air between steps] Step seven: fill the pipe. Step eight: crack the knife Step nine: Bleed the veins until the inner-child is outta site Step ten: Chase the smoke. Step eleven: Now Watch me choke. Step twelve: Break the mirror 'til the "pretty" version's finally broke. [The sound of a lightbulb SHATTERING. A frantic, wet scratching sound—nails on concrete.] [BREAKDOWN] [Aggressive, the "flush" and "shatter" sounds are distorted into a bass drop] (re-design) (re-define) (Your design) (Oh I'm fine) [Distorted Scream] DO I FIT THE DRESS YET? IS MY STOMACH FLAT ENOUGH YET? AM I THE PERFECT FUCKING DAUGHTER YET? OF YOUR TOUGH LOVE BULLSHIT! [PRE-CHORUS 3] [The drums vanish. Only the sound of a ticking clock remains, slightly out of rhythm] [Vocal: Whispered, panned hard to the right ear] I’ve purged so much away... I think I’ve reached the end There’s a "Closed" sign on the heart Where I used to let you bend [OUTRO] [The steady heart monitor BEEP begins to slow down... slower... slower...] [Sound of a music box winding up, then a sharp metallic SNAP] I’m fine. (I’m fine) I’m... [Static/White noise] [Muffled Voice] There's my girl. You look perfect today." [Sound: A heavy industrial door slamming SHUT]
