I’M A SHOOTING STAR!!!! {LulaVision}

[INTRO: 1930s HOLLYWOOD SWING. VINTAGE MONO. CRACKLING FILM. CHEERFUL BRASS, PIANO AND UPRIGHT BASS.] [LULA: SOLO FEMININE LEAD. CHEERFUL, EXAGGERATED OLD-TIMEY ACCENT. ENTERS THE AUDITION STAGE.] Hey! I got something you ain’t NEVER seen before!!!!!….. [ORCHESTRA STOPS. MASSIVE BASS DROP AS LULA JUMPS ONSTAGE.] THIS IS LULA SCREAMING ON THE STAGE!!!! [VERSE 1: EXPLOSIVE BIG-BAND SWING. PLAYFUL BRASS. FEMININE LEAD.] Did you ever see a fairy swing???? Did you ever see a fairy soar….!!! Oh my fairy self is doing things…. Oh many things that’s never been seen before! I make a BOOM in any ROOM! I make the weak run in a ZOOM! They act like I’m a witch, but I hold no BROOM! My fairy magic will make a dead garden BLOOM! [TAP-DANCE SOLO: RAPID TAP SHOES, RAGTIME PIANO AND UPRIGHT BASS.] [TAP! TAP! TAP-TAP-TAP!] [LULA GIGGLES.] OH! YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHING YET!!!! [TRUMPETS EXPLODE. FULL ORCHESTRA RETURNS.] [CHORUS: HUGE HOLLYWOOD ORCHESTRA. SWINGING BRASS. LAYERED FEMININE HARMONIES.] I’M A SHOOTING STAR!!!! WATCH ME LIGHT UP THE SKY!!!! FOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE!!!! AND MY WINGS ARE READY TO FLY!!!! [SHE’S A STAR! SHE’S A STAR!] I’M A SHOOTING STAR!!!! WATCH ME SET THE NIGHT ALIGHT!!!! AIN’T NO FAIRY QUITE LIKE ME!!!! BABY, I’M A ONE-OF-A-KIND!!!! [VERSE 2: BOUNCY SWING. THEATRICAL FEMININE VOCALS.] Well, lookie here! Take a good look at ME! Four little eyes and a BIG personality! I got the sparkle! I got the shine! I got a little fairy magic And the spotlight’s MINE!!!! [LULA LAUGHS.] I’ll dance on the ceiling! I’ll swing from the moon! I’ll make your whole orchestra Play OUT OF TUNE!!!! I’ll give you the sunshine! I’ll give you the rain! I’ll give you a performance THAT’LL DRIVE YOU INSANE!!!! [CHORUS: EXPLOSIVE SWING. TAP DANCING. FEMININE HARMONIES.] I’M A SHOOTING STAR!!!! WATCH ME LIGHT UP THE SKY!!!! FOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE!!!! AND MY WINGS ARE READY TO FLY!!!! [SHE’S A STAR! SHE’S A STAR!] [AUDITION SCENE: DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL FINISH. SCATTERED APPLAUSE.] [LULA: CHEERFUL, BREATHLESS FEMININE SPOKEN VOICE.] SOOOOOOOO!!!! Whaddya think???? [AWKWARD SILENCE. CLOCK TICKING.] [LULA: CONFUSED FEMININE VOICE. NERVOUS LAUGHTER.] Perform WITHOUT my wings???? Oh, honey! That’s like asking the SUN NOT TO SHINE!!!! [ABRUPT SILENCE.] [LULA: SOFT, SHOCKED FEMININE VOICE.] And… my extra eyes? My… eyes? [BRIDGE: HAUNTING PIANO. DISTORTED VINTAGE AUDIO. LULA STRUGGLES TO MAINTAIN HER CHEERFUL ACCENT.] Oh… Well, I can sing a little sweeter… I can dance a little faster… I can make myself look prettier… Would that make me what you’re after? [DISSONANT STRINGS BUILD. LULA BECOMES FRANTIC.] You wanted something different… Something nobody’s seen… BUT NOW YOU WANT TO TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING THAT MAKES ME ME!!!! [METALCORE BREAKDOWN: DISTORTED BRASS, DROP-TUNED GUITARS, DOUBLE KICKS. LULA’S EXPLOSIVE FEMININE SCREAMS.] WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME???? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE???? I GAVE YOU EVERY PART OF ME!!!! AND YOU STILL DON’T WANT ME!!!! [ABRUPT SILENCE.] [LULA: SOFT FEMININE WHISPER.] But… I’m a star… [FANTASY: FILM REEL REWINDS. THUNDEROUS IMAGINARY APPLAUSE. GRAND ORCHESTRA AND HEAVENLY FEMININE HARMONIES.] [LAYERED FEMININE CHANTS.] LULA! LULA! LULA! LULA! [LULA LAUGHS EUPHORICALLY.] OH, YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!!! I KNEW YOU’D LOVE ME!!!! [FINAL CHORUS: SWING COLLIDES WITH METALCORE. EXPLOSIVE BRASS, SCREAMING GUITARS AND MASSIVE FEMININE HARMONIES.] I’M A SHOOTING STAR!!!! WATCH ME LIGHT UP THE SKY!!!! FOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE!!!! AND MY WINGS ARE READY TO FLY!!!! [SHE’S A STAR! SHE’S A STAR!] I’M A SHOOTING STAR!!!! WATCH ME SET THE NIGHT ALIGHT!!!! AIN’T NO FAIRY QUITE LIKE ME!!!! BABY, I’M A ONE-OF-A-KIND!!!! [SHE’S A STAR! SHE’S A STAR!] [LULA: EXPLOSIVE FEMININE SCREAM.] I’M A STAAAAAAAAAAR!!!! [OUTRO: MUSIC CUTS. FANTASY DISAPPEARS. QUIET KITCHEN. CLOCK TICKING.] [LULA: SOFT FEMININE VOICE. CRYING.] But… But I’m a star… [LULA: DESPERATE, HEARTBREAKING FEMININE SCREAM.] BUT I’M A STAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!! [TELEVISION STATIC. END.]