# Because I Got Haunted *(A Paranormal Parody)* **[Intro – Spoken]** I hear things in my house, man... Footsteps upstairs... doors opening by themselves... And I swear that damn coffee pot just flew past me. ...Whatever. I'm making toast. **[Verse 1]** I hear things in my house, and I'm only half-interested, Something's in the hallway, but I'm way too disconnected. I'm just sitting in the kitchen, trying to enjoy my day, When the coffee pot goes floating by — I just look the other way! There's a ghost inside my closet, there's a shadow on the wall, Something's scratching at the ceiling, I can hear it down the hall. And the lights keep turning off, man, the TV's acting strange, But I'm way too damn comfortable to get up and make a change! **[Chorus]** Why, man? Because I got high! Because I got high! Because I got high! Because I got high! Because I got high! La-da-da-da-da-daaa! **[Verse 2]** I called a ghost hunter, but he didn't get too far, He ran screaming through the front door and he crashed into his car! He said, "This house is haunted! There's a demon in your chair!" I said, "Can you move him gently? I'm gonna sit right there!" He brought his fancy gadgets, and his little EMF, Then the ghost began to whisper, and the hunter lost his breath. He said, "Something's right behind you!" I said, "Yeah, I know it's true..." Then I asked him one more question: "Can the ghost make coffee too?" **[Chorus]** Why, man? Because we got high! Because we got high! Because we got high! Because we got high! Because we got hiiiiigh! La-da-da-da-da-daaa! **[Verse 3]** The ghost is still in my room, and I know exactly why, He keeps rattling my windows and he's floating through the sky. He threw my favorite pillow, made my furniture levitate, Then he wrote upon the mirror: "GET OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!" I said, "Buddy, that's dramatic. Could you keep the noise down low? I've got absolutely nothing planned, and nowhere else to go." Then he dragged my bed downstairs, and he turned my mattress round, I just grabbed another blanket — man, this ghost is pretty sound! **[Chorus – Louder]** WHY, MAN?! Because I got high! BECAUSE I GOT HIGH! BECAUSE I GOT HIGH! THE GHOST IS IN MY ROOM AND HE'S SCREAMING AT THE SKY! BUT I'M STILL LYING HERE — BECAUSE I GOT HIIIIIGH! La-da-da-da-da-daaa! La-da-da-da-da-daaa! **[Bridge – Spoken, exhausted]** Okay... listen, man. I've tried ignoring him. I've tried talking to him. I've tried leaving the house... But every time I leave, he locks the door. ...You know what? Fair enough. **[Verse 4]** Now the ghost is making breakfast, and he's washing all my clothes, He's been vacuuming the carpet, and he's polishing my stove. He says, "You lazy little human, you're a mess and that's a fact!" I said, "If you're so damn helpful, could you take the garbage out back?" Now he's haunting all the neighbors, and they're banging on my door, They've got priests and holy water, and they're shouting on the floor. I said, "Guys, he's not that evil, he's just looking for a friend!" Then the ghost turned off the lights... **[Spoken]** ...Oh, here we go again. **[Final Chorus – Completely Unhinged]** WHY, MAN?! BECAUSE I GOT HIGH! BECAUSE I GOT HIGH! BECAUSE I GOT HIGH! THERE'S A GHOST IN MY KITCHEN AND HE'S LEARNING HOW TO FLY! WHY, MAN?! BECAUSE I GOT HIGH! BECAUSE I GOT HIGH! BECAUSE I GOT HIIIIIGH! THE HOUSE IS FALLING APART BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY! La-da-da-da-da-daaa! La-da-da-da-da-daaa! La-da-da-da-da-daaaaaa! **[Outro – Spoken]** So... yeah. The ghost hunter quit. My neighbors moved out. My furniture is on the ceiling... And there's a skeleton making coffee in my kitchen. ...Actually, that smells pretty good. Hey, Mr. Ghost? Make mine a double. ...Because I got high.
