[vocalist a - nasally, scratchy] [vocalist b - laid back, raspy] [intro- walking bass riff wind up] (vocalist a) "can you hand me the wrench?" (vocalist b) "the right handed, or left handed one..." (vocalist a) "the wrench... you idjit" (vocalist b) "you're the idjit, you turd" (vocalist a) "I'm no turd you silly salamander." (vocalist b) "what in the heck is even that" (vocalist a) "YOU!" [verse 1] (vocalist b) "Oh yeah well you, your uh, unpleasant to be around, yeah.." (vocalist a) "ME? only a bully would say something like that you dust collector" (vocalist b) "Who you callin a dust collector you lint licker" (vocalist a) "YOU lick lint you vacuum!" [prechorus breakdown] (angry shouting amongst band members) (they scuffle and nock the drums over) HEY... not nice... [chorus- both vocalists screaming at each other] (vocalist b) OH YEAH?! (vocalist a) YEAH!! (vocalist b) WELL LISTEN HERE BUDDY! (vocalist a) I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY, PAL! (vocalist b) I'M NOT YOUR PAL, GUY! (vocalist b + a) SO LAME... (SO LAME...) You unsalted pretzel! You decorative gourd! (vocalist a) Why were we fighting? (vocalist b) I dont know man.. (vocalist a) I aint your man... (vocalist b) OH YEAH?! [breakdown] (angry noises) (vocalists are actively fighting) (sound engineer from off scene-distant) "GUYS.... We're recording..." [verse] (vocalist b) You're a big fat meanie who couldnt beat his way out of a wet paper bag even if there was cake on the other side (vocalist a) Well, you're a smelly loaf who stays inside his packaging and hates everyone else who got out and you're all green. (vocalist b) Huh?... whats that supposed to even mean? (vocalist a) you'd lose to a toaster, and you smell... (vocalist b) yeah well... ... ... your beard is lame... (vocalist a) you take that back right now or else... (bass player- tired) "Can we please just finish rehearsal?" [chorus- both vocalists screaming at each other] (vocalist b) OH YEAH?! (vocalist a) YEAH!! (vocalist b) WELL LISTEN HERE BUDDY! (vocalist a) I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY, PAL! (vocalist b) I'M NOT YOUR PAL, GUY! (vocalist b + a) SO LAME... (SO LAME...) You untinted sunglasses! You unflushable commode! (vocalist a) Why were we fighting? (vocalist b + a) I dont know man.. I aint your man... OH YEAH?! [outro] (vocalist a) You're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine! (vocalist b) AT LEAST I'M INSTALLED SOMEWHERE! (vocalist a) News flash, geek... I'm about to tell you what for. (vocalist b) Like your mom told me last night? (vocalist a) oh no you didnt.... I'm tellin' your aunt. (drummer - amused) "We have three more songs." (both vocalists simultaneously) STAY OUT OF THIS!! GLASS EATERS FOR LIFE [end]
