## This is a true story. ## I was there. ## I saw the fall. ##I screamed. I cried. ## My parents told me that Santa ## was Okay, but I had doubts... Little Jimmy's pumped, yeah, he's feelin' that cheer It's a week 'til Christmas, Santa’s almost here Strip mall special, Santa’s flyin’ in On a whirlybird chopper with a big ol’ grin Jimmy’s got a list, handwritten and neat Milk carton prepped, cookies stacked real sweet Dressed like an elf, he’s auditionin’ for the gig Dreamin’ of the North Pole, yeah, he’s thinkin’ big Parents load the car, sis rolls her eyes Jimmy’s in the back, feelin’ ten feet high Pull up to the lot, man, the vibe is thick Crowd buzzin’ louder than a peppermint stick Santa’s flyin’ in, gonna land in style All the kids are screamin’, faces full of smiles But when the chopper drops, and the crowd goes wild Santa takes a dive… Oh no, my child! The helicopter comes, blades chopping the air Santa’s on the edge, beard flowin’, no care He waves to the kids, they scream and they shout Jimmy’s yellin’ louder, "Santa, no doubt!" Closer and closer, it’s a magical scene But Santa stands up... lookin’ wobbly, leanin' Takes a bold step, like he’s made of steel Then gravity reminds him that physics are real Parents gasp loud, "Uh, is this for real?" One kid throws up his Happy Meal Santa falls, swan-dives to the street Jimmy’s little heart just skips a beat Santa’s flyin’ in, gonna land in style All the kids are screamin’, faces full of smiles But when the chopper drops, and the crowd goes wild Santa takes a dive… Oh no, my child. "OOOOOOMFFF!" goes Santa, sprawled on the lot Bag ripped open, presents forgot Kids are wailing, parents lose their minds "OH GOD, HE’S DRUNK!" shouts a guy from behind Jimmy’s frozen stiff, his dreams unwind Santa’s not a hero, he’s a parking lot find Years pass by, and he just can’t cope When he sees jolly red, he’s screamin’, "NOPE!" Santa’s flyin’ in, gonna land in style All the kids are screamin’, faces full of smiles But when the chopper drops, and the crowd goes wild Santa takes a dive… Oh no, my child Now Jimmy’s all grown, but the scars remain Christmas tunes hit like a freight train Every ho, ho, ho brings a flashback ride To the strip mall lot where Santa took his dive Santa took a dive Santa took a dive Parking lot trauma, 1995…
